Fun Facts: The Democrats Were a Minority Opposition Party BEFORE the 2016 Election

If I had a time machine, maybe the first thing I’d do would be to go back to Zucotti Park in 2011 and let the Occupy Wall Street people know that not only does their protesting do next to nothing, but the Tea Party eventually manages to take over all 3 branches of the federal government. If they asked me how this happened I’d say, well, in 2016 a legitimate progressive candidate comes around and seems to have a shot, but he quite predictably gets beaten down by moneyed bureaucracy. Then the movement ignores his pleas to not give up and instead runs a voter suppression campaign against itself which hands the election to the Tea Party. What happened in 2016 wasn’t some sort of victory of the right, it was an abject failure of the progressive left, and you know what? It happened at the exact worst possible time.

If there’s one thing I learned personally in 2016, it’s that leftist progressives are just as civically ignorant as the guns and god people they openly condescend to, if not more so. In fact, the guns and god freaks consistently vote, which is why we find ourselves in the political comedy/horror shit show we’re currently enmeshed in. Look, I know. The Democrats are despicable war mongering corporate whores. Hillary Clinton strikes me personally as nothing short of soulless. I mean, every time she talks you can almost hear the “what do people want to hear, what’s going to play well for my donors?” inner dialogue framing every word. Buuuut, this was not the point in human history to be focusing on that shit. Mainly because as creepy as the Democrats are, they were in fact the minority opposition party. But I don’t understand, Barack Obama was the president, they were the machine to be raging against. Errrr, no. (from NPR in March of 2016):

The GOP may be in the midst of an identity crisis, but the Democratic Party is also facing a political crisis that could be made a lot worse if it doesn’t win the White House in November.

Here’s why:

Part of President Obama’s legacy is the health of his party. He’s had many successes in office — health care reform, climate change regulations, Wall Street reform — but his legacy will also include one huge failure: a diminished Democratic Party.

Every president sees his party lose hundreds of positions — it’s the price a party holding the White House pays — but no president has come close to Obama. During Obama’s eight years in office, the Democrats have lost more House, Senate, state legislative and governors seats than under any other president.

When Obama took office, there were 60 Democratic senators; now there are 46. The number of House seats held by Democrats has shrunk from 257 to 188.

There are now nine fewer Democratic governors than in 2009. Democrats currently hold fewer elected offices nationwide than at any time since the 1920s.

How did this happen?

1. There are two different electorates in America

There is Presidential Election America, where turnout is diverse. The electorate is younger, browner, more single, more secular — more Democratic. Then there’s Midterm Election America, where the electorate is older, whiter, more rural, more church-going — in other words, more Republican. What’s great for Republicans and bad for Democrats is that the vast majority of the governorships and state legislative seats are elected in the midterms.

And those positions are the seed corn for a party — they’re the farm teams for higher-level offices. Right now the Democrats are at a very low ebb.

This is something President Obama lamented when he campaigned for Democrats in the midterm elections of 2010 and 2014. Republicans manage to turn out their voters every two years, but Democrats, for some reason, only turn their voters out every four. Maybe, Obama mused, because Democrats just don’t think midterms are “sexy enough.”

2. Bad luck

Democrats had one spectacularly bad piece of luck. The Republicans’ Tea Party-fueled surge in 2010 was perfectly timed to coincide with the decennial census, after which new congressional and state legislative district boundaries are drawn by governors and state legislatures. Republicans’ huge gains in the 2010 midterms put them in the driver’s seat when it came time to draw new congressional districts in 2011. Former Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell remembers what happened when Republicans took over the governor’s mansion and the Legislature in his state:

“When I left office in January of 2011,” says Rendell, “there were 13 Democratic congressman and six Republican congressman. As a result of redistricting in the 2010 election, that turned around and we now have 13 Republican congressmen and five Democratic congressman.”

Read the rest over and NPR and remember that they were rabidly anti-Bernie Sanders because of course they were.

Hey, how was the political coverage on in 2016? Well, it was roughly 80% of the “Democrats are creepy demon people” variety, with some “voting is for squares man” anarchist bullshit thrown in. And look, do I think that pointing out the Democrats are a very shitty minority opposition party is valuable? Yes, but just because Barack Obama was the president, didn’t actually mean they were the ones running things. Talking mad shit about the minority opposition party while giving the ruling party a free goddamn pass doesn’t honestly seem like something a counter cultural website would be doing. More to the point, you know what constantly bitching about the Democrats publicly does? It helps the Republicans. We know that now. They have all three branches of the federal government and an enormous majority of state and local power. Here, take a look:


Where’s the goddamn rebellion in helping the ruling majority party, who just happen to be super creepy religious fundamentalists? God, don’t even get me started on the both parties are just the same bullshit. Yes, they’re both corporate whore pig fucking war mongers. Got it. When my lefty friends were getting all excited about Barack Obama I was the first one going: “You do know he’s more in bed with Wall Street than any other president in history right?” But the problem with the argument that both parties are just as bad, is that it ignores actual policies. Yeah, they have a lot of similarities, but there are at least 30 policies that I can think of right off the top of my head (that as it turns out affect millions of people) where they differ radically.

Separation of church and state? Democrats pro, Republicans anti. Women’s rights? Democrats pro, Republicans anti. Wall Street regulations? Democrats sort of in favor, Republicans anti. New massive tax breaks for rich people? Republicans pro, Democrats anti. Cutting food stamp programs? Republicans pro, Democrats anti. Openly racist? Republicans yes, Democrats – got a black guy elected president (if they’d only known what a tactical mistake that was).

Even on the goddamn war mongering front. What were the positions on the ballot in 2016? Well, the Democrats wanted to curb military spending where it is, the Republicans wanted massive increases in military funding. You’re right, we now live in cuckoo bananas progressive world where those propositions are equally as bad. I’m fake news.

But voting doesn’t work man. Well, my problem with that argument is how would we know? We’ve never tried it. Most people don’t vote and that’s always the way it’s been. Young people have never voted with any consistency. Here’s my favorite part of the NPR article:

“Republicans manage to turn out their voters every two years, but Democrats, for some reason, only turn their voters out every four. Maybe, Obama mused, because Democrats just don’t think midterms are “sexy enough.”

And that’s the stupidity of the progressive left in a nutshell. Politics are so boring that our senile grandparents keep kicking our assess at it. 2018’s only a year away kids, please don’t fuck this up again.


And cue a bunch of 40 and up white guys who don’t vote  explaining to me shit that I already know about how horrible the Democrats are in the comments.

Thad McKraken

Thad McKraken

Thad McKraken is a psychedelic writer, musician, visual artist, filmmaker, Occultist, and pug enthusiast based out of Seattle. He is the author of the books The Galactic Dialogue: Occult Initiations and Transmissions From Outside of Time, both of which can be picked up on Amazon super cheap.
Thad McKraken