A Documentary Elixir for “Ancient Aliens” Fatigue

It’s been awhile since I’ve had a TV at home, but they’ve got one at my dead-end small-town night-shift liquor store job, and so, betwixt dusting bottles and enabling the self-medicating of farmers and housewives who are increasingly perplexed by the fact that things ain’t what they used to be, I always end up watching “Ancient Aliens” whenever it’s on. Other than “River Monsters” and my trusty ol’ PBS Nature documentaries, there is absolutely nothing else I can bear to watch, over some 1200 channels.

And trust me, I’m not watching this sick and twisted brainchild of Giorgio Tsoukalos, that body-building promoter turned “publisher” turned Sideshow Bob/Indiana Jones hybrid because I think he’s some kind of Galactic Gumshoe hot on the trail of the Holy-Moley-Crowley Grail.


I’m watching it because it is absolutely vital, in this weird-ass-clusterfuckified Apocalyptic day and age, to know exactly where the Celestial Disinformers are attempting to steer the narrative of occult symbolism and esoteric interpretation.

There is a clear interest, vested by The Powers That Be, to set the minds of the Curious Few upon a false trail, paved with red herrings.

The neutralizing of the Curious Few, I dare say, is of greater precedence right now than the pacification of the Unthinking Herd.

Don’t follow the scent, folks. It’s a Gingerbread House.


Don’t follow the scent, folks. It ain’t ET.


And it ain’t some trans-dimensional computer simulation.

It is far, far weirder than that.

And more unsettling…

Because it is perfectly Natural.

I reference an aspect of Nature which hasn’t reared its ugly head since the Wise Wise Ape gained access to printing presses and cameras obscura.

But all that’s about to change.

The Old Ones are coming Home.


Buckle the fuck Up, humanity.

Hardcore materialist snobs believe Mythology is all just the product of paranoid superstition, of ignorant savages clawing at the walls of caves, trying to make sense of this godly gift, this demonic curse called human consciousness.

What a literal pain in the ass it is.

And I dare say, it is sacred.

The nihilists of postmodernism beg to differ. To them, it is less than nothing.

Figures. These fools have never heard the whispering voice of granite, to say nothing of the raspy hisses of the oak, and the ash.

Those bombastic bamboozle-bots on the History Channel had the noive to declare that the Ravens of Odin, Huginn and Muninn (Thought & Memory), were FUCKING DRONES.

DRONES!!! I was this close… this close!… to chucking a half-pint of Jack into the screen. But the damn bottles are plastic now, so…


Here, I’d like to pass on a pair of documentaries, which I’d characterize as mental elixirs for anyone suffering from “Ancient Aliens” fatigue. In place of technologically advanced extra-terrestrials, the archetypes of Gods, Goddesses, Titans and Dragons are studied through the lens of cataclysmic astronomical phenomena: comets, plasma storms, natural disasters…

Yes, there is some Velikovsky involved.

And yes, there are some problems with his work.

But there are problems with everybody’s work, because everybody’s human.

So ask yourself why Velikovsky has been totally expunged from socially acceptable alternative history, whilst a showboating charlatan like Erich “Von” Daniken remains a fixture in the public eye.

I don’t agree with every point suggested in these documentaries. But that’s okay. You see, it’s okay to consider a viewpoint without being in lock-step with each and every one of its prepositions! Huzzah! Take that, SOCIAL MEDIA!

There is wisdom here: view it, chew on it, consider it.

Think in terms of poetry, in the mind of a monkey.

Primates are the only dominant mammals who rely upon sight as their primary sense. All the other mammalian bigwigs are either scent or hearing-based.

Does it not seem perfectly natural, then, that our myths might be conceived in response to something our ancestors SAW? Watch this too:


-David Warner Mathisen has done some excellent work, interpreting ancient mythology in the context of cyclical celestial phenomena. His work is highly recommended to any of you who have read Manly P. Hall. His books are dense and scholarly, and that is why I recommend them.


-The Great Celtic Shaman Sir Damien Quinn and I have been engaged in a month’s-long correspondence, which I’ll eventually edit into some kind of publish-able dialogue, in which we ruminate upon the nature of Gods, Monsters, and Spirits. So stay tuned.

In the mean time, consider these positions, and dream.

J. B. Turnstone

J. B. Turnstone

The Last Human Lighthouse Keeper at Hamlet's Mill, via https://turnstonecreations.blogspot.com/
High Priest and Highly Reluctant Treasurer of the Alleged Order of the Nettle and the Toad, an Occult Society for Occultists Who Can't Bear to Keep Anything Occulted. Founder and Vice President, Luddite Ornithologists League (LOL). I shan't apologize for being a politically incorrect omnivore.
J. B. Turnstone