Good King Crab: An Arctic Shaman’s Death Song


Here Being

a macabre transcription


Upon a disc o’ Purified TIN,

Wrapp’d in Seal’s hide

And seal’d in a chest o’ SILVER,

‘Merg’d out yon lately Permafrost

‘Mid Whale bones askew the Tide-


Author Unknown.


On Good King Crab O let me dine

Whence I to Death my Fate consign-

And leave me at Point Barrow Fair

To feed a prowling Polar Bear!

And let that Polar Bear embark

To satiate a Greenland Shark!

And let that Shark be snatch’d amid

The tendrils of a Giant Squid!

And let that Calamari Slick

Be slic’d & dic’d by Moby-Dick!

And when that Whale to Death descends-

Give Good King Crab the dividends.


J. B. Turnstone

J. B. Turnstone

The Last Human Lighthouse Keeper at Hamlet's Mill, via
High Priest and Highly Reluctant Treasurer of the Alleged Order of the Nettle and the Toad, an Occult Society for Occultists Who Can't Bear to Keep Anything Occulted. Founder and Vice President, Luddite Ornithologists League (LOL). I shan't apologize for being a politically incorrect omnivore.
J. B. Turnstone