I’m Pretty Sure Tony Robbins was Sort of a Dick Way Before Last Week

In seeing all this drama and his subsequent apology about #MeToo I was sort of like, I seem to remember reading about that dude being somewhat of a piece of shit not long ago. Where did I read that exactly? Cracked, of course. The dirt here is that he was successfully sued for plagiarism, was also litigated for lying about the profitability of his franchises, and oh yeah, scamming investors with a crap website that he knew was crap. God, the self help guru thing. I’m sure it is in fact helpful to a lot of people and they do give great advice at times but man, it’s just so freaking catered to shitty capitalism. Always kind of makes me a bit ill inside, but you should absolutely meditate, exercise, dream journal, and have stoned orgasms regularly. That’s my self help advice, which is a bit different than Tony Robbins I’m sure, but I wouldn’t actually know because I can never make it very far into that trite crap. (From Cracked):

“You probably recognize Tony Robbins as the self-empowerment guru to the stars who is roughly 80 percent teeth. But you might not know that when he isn’t busy inspiring people to take control of their physical, mental, and financial destinies, he’s been caught up in a variety of shifty business practices. He’s been successfully sued for plagiarism, ordered to pay fines by the FTC for misrepresenting the potential earnings of his franchisees, and once started a bad website. OK, we know pretty much everyone’s done that last thing, but Robbins did it with especially villainous gusto.

You see, Robbins started a self-improvement website called Dreamlife back in the late ’90s, which is a nice late-’90s-sounding thing to do. But right from its inception, there was something fishy about the whole setup. For starters, it wasn’t its own company. Robbins convinced a different company, Global Health Systems, to build the website for him, and to hand most of their operation over to him as well. Because Global Health Systems was a company with publicly traded stock that was now under his control, Robbins was more easily able to convince other investors to toss some sweet green his way. It was a shortcut/loophole around the normal reporting requirements for starting a new publicly traded company, and if skirting regulations doesn’t entice you to invest your money in something, we don’t know what will.

It gets sleazier. Because Robbins already had deals with book publishers, he wasn’t really interested in or legally able to provide any of the self-help guidelines and advice he was known for on this site, meaning it wasn’t much more than an outlet to sell shirts and stuff. In short, Dreamlife was dead before it began, badly soaking any investors who arrived late to the party. No one knows how much money Robbins cashed out of the process, but it’s probably safe to assume it was more than zero dollars.”

Read about more dickish gurus over at Cracked.

Thad McKraken

Thad McKraken

Thad McKraken is a psychedelic writer, musician, visual artist, filmmaker, Occultist, and pug enthusiast based out of Seattle. He is the author of the books The Galactic Dialogue: Occult Initiations and Transmissions From Outside of Time, both of which can be picked up on Amazon super cheap.
Thad McKraken