What’s More Hilarious than the People Who Think We Can Save the Environment Without Questioning Capitalism?

There was a time when you could question the value of alternative spiritual practices, but that time is gone. Why is this stuff important? Because the idea that you can get infinite kicks from your own imagination just so happens to be the most environmentally friendly concept one can imagine. Rather than searching for happiness in consumer products or traveling the world, you can travel the astral realms and explore natural lucid dreamscapes for free in your own bedroom. The environmental impact of teaching yourself to meditate or lucid dream is essentially nil. Buying useless shit you don’t need to fill a hole in your soul you don’t even acknowledge exists? Unquestionably fucking toxic to the environment.

So it’s my contention that by studying the seemingly limitless untapped potential of the human imagination (which we absolutely 100% know exists by the way, science fact), we could create more fulfilling lifestyles that aren’t completely out of balance with the natural world. Materialists? Hmmm, maybe we could make machines to block out the sun. No, really. Read on at Earther

“Climate change is an increasingly dangerous antagonist, and we’re not doing a great job curtailing it. Which is why, in the not too distant future, we may have to undertake a new, Manhattan Project-style endeavor to hold back the rising mercury. Once a fringe idea, there’s now a growing possibility we’ll build machines that will, in a manner of speaking, darken the Sun.

There are several variations on the so-called solar geoengineering theme, but they all have the same end-goal: using aerosols to blanket our atmosphere with reflective particles in order to quickly lower global temperatures. There’s been a lot of discussion of how this might go wrong, but much less on the technology needed to make it work. So, what would our hypothetical, sky-altering, solar radiation management (SRM) machines look like?

To answer that question, we first need to understand what these machines would actually be putting in the sky. The ingredients required to create a nebulous skyward mirror range from table salt and aluminum oxides to obliterated diamond dust. The one that receives the most attention, however, is sulfur. There are several reasons for this, but perhaps most importantly, we know with near-absolute certainty that this aerosol would work.

Volcanic eruptions are known to sometimes effuse vast amounts of sulfur aerosols into the stratosphere, a layer of our atmosphere that starts at a height of nine miles up. Once there, the aerosols transform into droplets of reflective sulfuric acid. From geological records and from present-day observations (see, for example, Tambora’s 1815 outburst, or Pinatubo’s 1991 furious firework show), we know sulfur-rich eruptions can briefly chill the planet by a degree or more, and sometimes even rob the world of a summer or two. This, crudely speaking, is natural SRM.

All we have to do to postpone the apocalypse, then, is reproduce this artificially—and that’s where things get complicated. Machines capable of directly depositing a payload of sulfur gas into the stratosphere will need to be perfectly situated, operated and designed.

The quantity of aerosols they’ll deploy will be in the millions of tonnes. Unlike carbon dioxide emissions, which linger up there for decades or centuries at a time, sulfur sifts out from the atmosphere in just a handfulof years. Our SRM machines, then, would have to operate perhaps perpetually, continually refueling the shield.”

(read the rest over at Earther)

Then there’s the Elon Musk solution, which is to flee the Earth when the environment tanks and go where? To a planet that doesn’t have an environment hospitable to human life. Buuuut, theoretically we could then detonate nuclear blasts at the poles of Mars which would miraculously restore the environment there. Theoretically. No really, that’s his fucking plan.

Thad McKraken

Thad McKraken

Thad McKraken is a psychedelic writer, musician, visual artist, filmmaker, Occultist, and pug enthusiast based out of Seattle. He is the author of the books The Galactic Dialogue: Occult Initiations and Transmissions From Outside of Time, both of which can be picked up on Amazon super cheap.
Thad McKraken