When Peyote Made Robert Anton Wilson Want to Fuck a Kid

Hey look, I’m not trying to be an asshole here by posting this, I’m just forced to work with the material I’m given. I see this come up in my feed last week and I’m like, cool, early rare trip reports from the great RAW himself. Reading that to avoid work was all going great but then I almost did a spit take. Wait what? Hey, I’m not judging here at all but maybe there’s a reason he never published this under his own name. From the Robert Anton Wilson Archives:

“Twelve hours after I had taken the capsules – that is, at 8 o’clock the next morning – I was back down to merely the marijuana level of beauty, and I finally began to feel sleepy. I slept most of the day and most of the next night, except for a few intervals of waking again in the Magic World. The next morning, Monday, I went into my regular job at the advertising agency where I work. Several people commented that I seemed happier than usual, but nobody thought I was acting crazy. I was well-oriented in space and time and had no bad after-effects.

For several weeks all colors were a little brighter than usual, and I was a little happier than usual.

Then another unexpected thing happened.

I fell in love, sexually, with a young boy.

I have never been homosexual in my life, and I am 34. In spite of that, and in spite of common sense and convention, I did not fear or reject my feelings. I let them develop and watched them with the fond tolerance I have for my children’s carryings-on.

There was no doubting the reality, and the urgency, of the passion. I would get an erection just driving past the boy’s house in a car.

The boy was definitely heterosexual and, I knew, would react to any advance with repugnance or fear. That realization alone – and no “moral” considerations at all – kept me from making a pass at him.

About a month after the “perversion” (if you want to call it that) began, it just as abruptly ended. Four months have passed since the ending of these homosexual impulses, and I have not had similar feelings toward that boy or any other male. I am very glad that I had this experience, though, for it has taught me to understand homosexuals a little better. It has also taught me why Freud was so fond of quoting the old proverb, “Nothing human is alien unto me.”

Read the rest over at the RAW Archives

Pretty sure that gave you empathy for pedophiles dog and no, I’m not saying that’s necessarily a bad thing as long as you never acted on it. I’m mainly posting this because I’ve had a ton of people tell me their psychedelic stories over the years, but I have never heard of anything like that before exactly. Drugs are weird man. When I first started smoking pot, on two separate occasions I became 100% convinced that I had pissed my pants. I got super freaked out and was internally confronting how embarrassing it was going to be to admit to my smoke circle that I’d totally lost my shit and then…oh wait, I didn’t piss my pants. You’d think after the first time I would have sorted this strangeness out, but nope. It happened twice. Marijuana is a hell of a drug.

I also definitely had an experience on mushrooms way back where I suddenly realized that I could enjoy gay sex in that state if I was deep enough in. I can’t say this really helped my empathy toward LGBTQ people necessarily, but more that I learned how far my societal programming could be broken down by a super hallucinogen. What really gives me empathy for gay people is the fact that I wish I was fucking gay but I just can’t go through with it. You think I like dating women? Sure, it’s so much fun to have your sex life dependent on someone who has 1/8 the sex drive you do. Gotta hand it to God, heterosexuality is quite the cosmic joke (the cosmic joke our entire reality is based on I might point out).

No, I absolutely wish I was gay but it’s just not the way I’ve been hardwired, which gives me a ton of empathy for gay people as I’m sure a lot of them, especially those growing up in repressive religious households really want to be straight but they just can’t. I get that in a way.

Thad McKraken

Thad McKraken

Thad McKraken is a psychedelic writer, musician, visual artist, filmmaker, Occultist, and pug enthusiast based out of Seattle. He is the author of the books The Galactic Dialogue: Occult Initiations and Transmissions From Outside of Time, both of which can be picked up on Amazon super cheap.
Thad McKraken