Author Archive | Laszlo Xalieri

Sentient Organizations: A Cryptozoological Approach

Bunyip, Australia, 1935First of all, let go of the possibility that I might at all be speaking metaphorically or figuratively. I think it is possible — probable, even — that some organizations, be they businesses or churches or street gangs or what have you, are literally alive. Alive to the point that studies should be made to classify them taxonomically as a new branch on the tree of life. Alive to the point that many of them are aware and self-aware. And I’m going to say the word “literally” again just so you get the point.

I first broached this topic in a serious fashion when I was researching and writing my portion of the presentation for Stan Woodard’s Atlanta Zombie Symposium in September of 2009. I had been tasked with cataloging and showcasing elements of zombiedom in nature and business and modern life — like actual infections that take over the minds of creatures to make them do bizarre and murderous and self-destructive things, and then ideas that seem to do the same thing to humans, both individually and in the aggregate — and then it seems like part of my brain has been chewing the cud on this topic for three years.… Read the rest

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Chick-Fil-A Sock-Puppet Theater

Here’s a short primer on how to tank your national image in the eyes of the only people left who like you.

  1. Be bigoted and vocal about how it’s just good Christian values.
  2. Lose customers and valuable promotional partnerships because of it.
  3. Hire PR firm for damage control to create fake “Christian” teenagers on Facebook to lie and verbally abuse detractors.
    Chick-Fil-A: sock-puppet busted
  4. That should about do it.

Thanks for your attention.

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