Author Archive | LordSatan

McCain Beats Obama in Race of Hissing Cockroaches

NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. — This presidential race was no contest: John McCain sped to the finish while Barack Obama was reluctant to leave the starting point. But there’s no guarantee giant Madagascar hissing cockroaches will predict the real result in November.

The roach race Thursday was part of the New Jersey Pest Management Association’s annual clinic and trade show. Organizers liken the race’s prediction success to that of Punxsutawney Phil on Groundhog Day.

Association Executive Director Leonard Douglen says the 2000 roach race came close. The Gore roach won by an antenna, hanging chads not included.

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How Much Is Your Soul Worth?

The more evil you are, the more the Devil will want you soul, so he’ll be offering you more Soul Dollars!

Question 1 of 15

Do you help old ladies across the street, or kick them when they fall over?

– I help them across the street all the time. I also make sure to steal their welfare checks from their purse.

– Neither. They should be able to help themselves.

– I suppose I kick them. More than once.

– I’m usually the reason they fell down in the first place.

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