Author Archive | Stacie Adams

My Eight Hours of Hell in a Content Farm

BieberStacie Adams writes on the Nervous Breakdown:

I was a copy writer for about eight hours this week. I was employed by a content farm. I would produce weekly blogs for clients at about $15 a pop. After I established myself as a viable content farmer I would be given larger assignments, at $50 to $75 per piece. You can see where this is going. My first assignment was sort of a test run, to see if I was up to it. I had to produce roughly 300 hundred words on hair extensions. Hair. Extensions. … Here’s how that turned out:

Most famous celebrity haircuts for men

The Bieber – I propose we start calling this one ‘The Skywalker’ because that’s really how it all started. Want yourself a Bieber? Just swear off hair cuts for about six months or so. Every man has had a Bieber, whether intentional or not.

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Why Is There Not More Male Nudity in Mainstream Films?

CensoredStacie Adams writes on the Nervous Breakdown:

Today I bring you a subject that’s very close to my heart. And by heart I mean sex organs.

I’m a 31 year old heterosexual woman who is appalled by the lack of male nudity in movies. Tits and girl ass are legion in film, and that’s OK, I don’t mind it. But, in the interest of this equality I hear so much about, perhaps we can add some rock hard pectorals and v-shaped abdomens into the mix? Some chiseled male bums? A quick shot of the little guy?

Remember when action movies always had that scene of the anti-hero crying into his refrigerator, or gun, or eight ounce glass of whiskey over his dead dog, or kid, or wife? And remember how in these scenes said anti-hero would always be without pants and have an ass like Michelangelo’s David?

Well, those scenes were put there for women like me.

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I’m Voting for the Dead Guy

Obama Wants Brains

Image courtesty of TeeFury

Stacie Adams writes on the Nervous Breakdown:

Let me tell you a little story. Perhaps it won’t be very compelling or important, and perhaps the opinion of one slightly unhinged free lance writer means nothing, but the truth is I never voted in my life until 2008.

Everyone at the polling place knew who I was voting for, due to my age and demeanor. There were a shit ton of us, all there to put a vote in for Barack Obama, which really rubbed the old folks raw.

These were the people who voted every election cycle without fail, and now had to contend with a wave of urban hipsters and other artsy types.

A man walked in behind us and barked ‘Bliss, Republican!’ at the little old ladies working the polls, all of whom puffed up their chests and yelled back that he needn’t be such an ass about it.

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The Personal Is Not Political

Personal is PoliticalVia The First Church of Mutterhals:

The phrase ‘the personal is political’ always bugged me, but I could never articulate why. There’s just something off about it, like conflating religious belief and science, or the mixture of church and state. I was recently reading the Christopher Hitchens autobiography and I came by this quote regarding the inception of the phrase:

“At the instant I first heard this deadly expression, I knew as one does from the utterance of any sinister bullshit that it was — cliché is arguably forgivable here — very bad news.”

He goes on to say that now you only needed to flout your attachment to whatever arbitrary delineation (as he brilliantly puts it, “a member of a sex, or gender, or epidermal subdivision, or even erotic “preference,”) to be considered a revolutionary. This is coming from a person who wears his arrest record proudly, having been done in for numerous protests and rallies and the kind of rabble rousing people my age and younger can’t even imagine.… Read the rest

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Going Rogue: What Happens Next to Julian Assange and WikiLeaks?

WikiLeaksVia the First Church of Mutterhals:

Just a short time ago many Americans had never heard of Julian Assange or Wikileaks. It’s understandable, this past summer was action packed with quality TV programming and most of us can’t be bothered to pay attention foreign goings on. But now you literally cannot flee news of Assange, a man who is quickly becoming a modern day folk hero for the disenfranchised and fed up.

While liberals argue whether or not Assange is a rapist and conservatives call for his head, the rest of us marvel that someone finally stood up and did something about the shitty state of the world that didn’t involve complaining about injustice on a blog or staging a meaningless protest only serving to garner the organizer some much needed attention. People like Assange and Bradley Manning and those involved in hacking Wikileaks opponents are heroes in the truest sense of the word; despite the very dire consequences they face for their actions they forge ahead, because it’s the right thing to do.… Read the rest

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Who’s Afraid of a Beautiful Woman?

Marilyn MonroeVia the First Church of Mutterhals:

There’s some exhibit at a museum in Pittsburgh featuring never before seen photos of Marilyn Monroe. Now, I’m not some retrograde star fucker who pines for the golden age of Hollywood when all the men were either latent homosexuals or confirmed rapists and all the women were hopped up on pills. But seeing Monroe’s ethereally beautiful mug plastered all over this city quickly became one of a few bright spots on my otherwise dreary morning commute.

To my horror, this morning I saw that someone defaced one of the billboards touting the exhibit. Under the copy, in awkward, sloppy lettering, stood the hastily spray painted profundity ‘women are not objects’ followed by some bastard amalgam of an anarchy sign and the symbol for female. I guess the self defense class let out early last night and someone was feeling frisky.

I’d like to address the trog that wrote this, or in the very least some of her proxy sisters.… Read the rest

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Why I Didn’t Vote

Tea Party RallyI know, break out the tar and feathers before I get away. I’m a horrible human being, I should be ashamed myself, I should have no say in politics, blah blah blah.

Let me tell you a little story. Perhaps it won’t be very compelling or important, and perhaps the opinion of one slightly unhinged free lance writer means nothing, but the truth is I never voted in my life until 2008.

I got caught up in the idea of ushering in some kind of enlightenment via a black president, not because I thought racial harmony would dawn or that Barack Obama was anything more than a politician, but because I thought that his election was a sign of things to come, i.e. people finally coming to their senses and abandoning all the nonsense ideas about the completely bullshit concept of race. Also, Sarah Palin scared the fuck out of me.… Read the rest

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Flirting in the 21st Century, Brett Favre Style

Brett Favre in 2006.

Brett Favre in 2006.

Via the First Church of Mutterhals:

Everyone knows I’m not exactly keen on manners. But in some ways I am downright old fashioned. For instance, if a man I was vaguely acquainted with took a liking to me and decided the best way to win my favor would be to forward a hastily snapped pic of his, oh, how should I put this, his wang; well let’s just say there is a very short list of people who could get away with such a thing without my taking out a restraining order.

You know where I’m going with this. Proving once and for all that he is a congenital retard, Brett Favre did the above to a comely female member of the sporting press, thusly taking a bad idea and making it monumentally worse. I know, I know, allegedly. Brett Favre allegedly stuck his cell phone down his shorts and allegedly snapped the most unspectacular and tepid alleged dong pictures I have ever had the displeasure of seeing.… Read the rest

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Does Sexual Dysfunction in America Require Divine Intervention?

Nun Sex?Via the First Church of Mutterhals:

I’m not very altruistic, as most of you already know. I’m of the opinion that it’s every man for himself, whether you like it or not. You can’t really expect other people to take care of you and security is just coping mechanism. No one is really secure.

However, I do find the sexual dysfunction of many Americans troubling enough to warrant intervention. You have a vast number of women who are downright latently asexual, you have shit-load of straight men who are terrified of the implication that they might be gay, you have teens and young adults being told in one ear that abstinence and chastity are the only way, while in the other ear streams the most vulgar and perverse sexuality in the form of festering silicone tits and hooker culture, which celebrates coldly detached sex acts but shies away from real sensuality and pleasure.

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Charles Bronson for President

Charles BronsonVia the First Church of Mutterhals:

I’ve been watching the Death Wish movies all week on AMC. Quake loves them dearly for the wet explosions and hand cannons. I am amazed that these films ever saw the light of day.

The story goes as follows: Paul Kersey (Charles Bronson) is forced into violence by so many thugs and cretins, who run roughshod over New York city like a band of vikings. Kersey never really wants to spill blood, it’s just that the aforementioned thugs will not stop killing and raping his loved ones. The cops are no help either. They are either woefully incompetent or believe Kersey to be just as bad as those he hunts. Paul Kersey has to be the unluckiest man in the history of film.

These are laughably bad films and in no way do they represent reality. But something about them struck me as being fairly accurate, and that something was the sheer panic that some people exhibit right now.… Read the rest

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