I once had a coworker who played a game called: “Ohio or Florida?” He would read news headlines of bizarre stories/crimes and try to guess if they happened in Ohio or Florida. His theory was that 9 times out of 10, these wild tales happened in either my home-state of Ohio or Florida. I would balk at this idea because, DUH, Ohio is great.
But then, I stumble upon stories like this and I realize, fuck, he may be right. I hail from Northeast Ohio, which makes this story even more hilarious.
There is a wild defecator on the loose in Akron, OH and his preferred toilet is the hood of cars. He also enjoys smearing it around—for some reason I’d rather not know. I think we need Tina Belcher to open an investigation.
It’s unclear if the mad pooper’s motive is mischief or if he has some underlying mental health issue. … Read the rest