Tag Archives | amusement parks

A 1931 Plan To Convert Egypt’s Pyramids Into An Amusement Park

pyramidsAmazingly, no blueprint for a mammoth slide going down the side. Paleofuture reveals:

In a series of illustrations under the bold headline, “Mammoth Flying Swing to Give Bird’s Eye Pyramid View,” we see the pyramids as they could have been — the main attractions in Giza’s own version of Disneyland.

Signed by Art Williamson in the June 1931 issue of Modern Mechanics and Invention magazine, the illustrations show three cars swirling around the top of a pyramid, driven by a huge electric motor. The thrill seekers then were supposed to board the ride by crossing a gangplank that gives me vertigo just looking at it.

So why didn’t this unbelievably irreverent idea come to pass? One suspects it might have had something to do with objections from the Egyptian government. The illustration mentions that when (not if) the government’s consent is obtained, this amazing project will become a reality.

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Amusement Park Coming to Abbottabad, Last Home of Osama Bin Laden

Exactly why someone in Pakistan decided that the town where Osama bin Laden (supposedly) met his end at the hands of U.S. Navy Seals would be a good place for an amusement park is unfortunately not revealed in this story from Reuters:

Pakistan plans to build a $30 million amusement park and outdoor activity centre on the edge of the northwestern town of Abbottabad, where U.S. special forces killed Osama bin Laden, an official said on Monday.

The private venture in the foothills of the Himalayas will include a zoo, water sports, a mini-golf course, rock climbing and paragliding, said Jamaluddin Khan, the deputy provincial minister for tourism.

“The project will take five years to complete,” he told Reuters.

U.S. Navy SEALs killed the al Qaeda leader in 2011 in a secret raid that humiliated Pakistan’s military – which has an academy nearby – and heavily strained ties between strategic allies Washington and Islamabad…

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Yeti Theme Park Planned In Siberian Mountains

Your plans for next Christmas vacation? How does cryptozoology-themed family fun on a remote Russian mountain sound? Via TwoCrowsParanormal:

Sunny Siberia is adding a new attraction: a theme park devoted to the legendary Yeti. Hoping to cash in on interest in the search for the beast, officials have dedicated a portion of land and launched plans to construct a park centered on the Yeti. Initial plans for the park include a hotel and a themed children’s playground, all built at the Sheregesh ski resort resting in the Shoria Mountain area. The region claims to have a high number of Yeti sightings.

The brainchild behind the park, Sheregesh adminstrator Igor Idimeshev, says that the people of Shoria refer to the creatures as “Big Men” and that everyone in the region is aware of their existence. Believing it unlucky to speak too much about the encounters, the Big Men are only mentioned in conversation briefly.

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Disneyland To Use Digital Tracking Bracelets On Visitors

Who says the Panopticon has to be gloomy? Children will be thrilled to find that Mickey Mouse already knows everything about them. ANIMAL New York writes:

In an effort to give its theme park patrons a more customized, interactive experience, Disney is adopting the tactics of law enforcement agencies everywhere: giving out wristbands embedded with tracking devices and information about the people wearing them.

Uses for the wristbands, dubbed “MyMagic+,” range from the pedestrian–like tracking purchases and attractions visited, presumably to serve up targeted advertisements–to the surreal. If a child wearing a MyMagic+ band approaches a Cinderella mascot, for example, Cinderella could be automatically informed of the child’s information, so she can greet him or her by name. Fortunately, the devices are strictly optional for now.

“We want to take experiences that are more passive and make them as interactive as possible,” said Bruce Vaughn, Disney Imagineering’s chief creative executive. “Moving from, ‘Cool, look at that talking bird,’ to ‘Wow, amazing, that bird is talking directly to me.”

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China’s Abandoned Fake Disneyland

CHINA/Just outside of Beijing lies a skeletal shell of paradise…sometimes I feel as if we’re all living in an abandoned fake Disneyland. Via Architizer:

Construction on “Wonderland” began in 1998 with the intention of building the largest amusement park in Asia…The project was scrapped. A strange landscape of half-built structures amid corn fields and cracked pavement. The park is strewn with fragments of anachronistic landmarks, anchored by an unfinished fairytale castle whose inchoate construction dissolves into the smog.

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Theme Park From Hell: Singapore’s Haw Par Villa

Singapore Paranormal Investigators has everything you need to know about the Haw Par Villa amusement park. Built in 1937, it is dotted with lush gardens and life-size depictions of scenes including the ten levels of hell described in ancient Chinese mythology, torture and dismemberment, humans with the heads of animals, and a women breastfeeding her father-in-law. It has been described as “if Heironymus Bosch built a putt-putt course”. Book your tickets and take your kids for a vacation that will change their lives.

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Disney World’s Army Of Intern Burger-Flippers

disneyAt the world’s most beloved theme park, thousands of interns serve the fast food, operate the rides, and mop up children’s vomit in what is billed as an “educational experience.” Is this the economic model of the future? Via Guernica:

Like other employers, Disney has mastered how to rebrand ordinary jobs as exciting opportunities. “We’re not there to flip burgers or to give people food,” a fast food intern told the Associated Press. “We’re there to create magic.” Yet training and education are afterthoughts: the kids are brought in to work. Having traveled thousands of miles and barely breaking even financially, they find themselves cleaning hotel rooms, performing custodial work, and parking cars in the guise of an academic exercise.

Like many a corporate titan, Disney likes to give the impression it’s in the education business. Disney University, born in 1955 as the company’s training division, predated McDonald’s Hamburger University, Motorola University, and others, prefiguring what Andrew Ross has called “the quasi-convergence of the academy and the knowledge corporation.”

In its scale, the Disney program is unusual, if not unique.

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KidZania: The Consumerism-Brainwashing Amusement Park Coming To The U.S.A.

The Morning News visits KidZania, a surreal amusement-park-of-the-future with locations in Dubai, Portugal, Indonesia, Japan, South Korea, Mexico, and soon, the United States. Its a Sims-like miniature world in which children play-act at being adult worker-drones and consumers:

The children are learning factory work, it’s in a job bottling Coca-Cola, and when they’re working at a restaurant, that “restaurant” has golden arches. The dentist office is sponsored by Crest.

At the heart of the concept and the business of KidZania is corporate consumerism, re-staged for children whose parents pay for them to act the role of the mature consumer and employee. The rights to brand and help create activities at each franchise are sold off to real corporations.

Smith-Kidzania3

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