The problem anger formula: Anger (frustration, irritability, attitude, etc.) + Lowered self-value + Blame.
Steven Stosny writes at Psychology Today:
… Read the rest
Ordinary anger arises from impediments to:
- Task performance (The screw repeatedly drops out of the picture hanger before you can tighten it.)
- Interest or relaxation (Someone is talking while you’re trying to read or a lawn mower wakes you up too early.)
- Enjoyment (Someone is reading when you would like to talk.)
- Status maintenance (You feel insulted.)
- Territorial integrity (Someone takes something from you or violates a boundary.)
- Protection (of valued others or valued objects).
In contrast, problem anger makes you act against your long term best interest or keeps you from acting in your long term best interest.
Examples of the former: You bang the picture with the screw driver or shout at the talker to shut up and thereby make it harder to concentrate on reading, or you make someone irritable by interrupting, which lowers the likelihood that you will enjoy your talk or, when insulted you insult back, i.e., react to a jerk like a jerk, or you devalue the people you most value.