Tag Archives | Christmas

World’s Biggest Heavy Metal Band to Sell Sweaters this Christmas

metallicasweater-300x234Metallica, the world’s biggest and most successful heavy metal band of all time announced this week that for the upcoming holiday season they would be selling…ugly Christmas sweaters. Although they are not the first heavy metal band to market their own Christmas sweaters (Slayer was first, if you can imagine that) Metallica is offering two unique versions, the “Scary Sweater” as well as a “Master Sweater” both of which are designed with the Load era logo design. Santa has refused to comment on Metallica’s announcement.

via MetalInsider.net

We cannot even begin to count the number of puns worthy of the news that Metallica will let you purchase their very own Christmas sweater come holiday season 2013. Mind you, we’ll still usher in our top three in the following lines.

Metallica, or their marketing team, announced via the band’s Facebook page that this holiday season, metalheads far and wide will have one more metal-worthy gift to add to their wish list: a Metallica-themed Christmas sweater!

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Was Santa Claus A Stoned Magic Mushroom Shaman?

This theory may seem far-fetched but explains all; he is garbed in red and white to match the toadstool mushroom.  Mother Nature Network reveals:

According to one theory, the story of Santa and his flying reindeer can be traced to an unlikely source: hallucinogenic or “magic” mushrooms. “Santa is a modern counterpart of a shaman, who consumed mind-altering plants and fungi to commune with the spirit world,” said John Rush, an anthropologist and instructor at Sierra College in Rocklin, Calif.

According to the theory, the legend of Santa derives from shamans in the Siberian and Arctic regions who dropped into locals’ teepeelike homes with a bag full of hallucinatory mushrooms as presents in late December, Rush said.

“As the story goes, up until a few hundred years ago these practicing shamans or priests connected to the older traditions would collect Amanita muscaria (the Holy Mushroom), dry them, and then give them as gifts on the winter solstice,” Rush told LiveScience.

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‘Peace on Earth’ (1939)

I watch this every year at Christmas time. It frightened the holy hell out of me as a child, but now it just make me think. We're not any closer to this "peace" we talk about at this time of year, are we? Maybe 2013 will be different. WAR IS OVER! (if you want it.)
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Swiss Santa Claus’s Terrifying Alter-Ego Schmutzli

The harsh Germanic Santa Claus equivalent known as Krampus has seen his celebrity rise in recent years, but he’s not Northern Europe’s only the only psychologically scarring Christmas figure. Switzerland’s black-cloaked Schmutzli, also known as “the Whipping Father,” arrives each December 25th to beat and abduct children. Swissinfo says:

Known as Schmutzli in the German part of the country and Père Fouettard (from “whip”) in French, Samichlaus’s alter ego usually carries a broom of twigs for administering punishment to children.

Kurt Lussi, curator at Lucerne’s History Museum, says that the St. Nicholas custom in Switzerland became interwoven with a festival of masks dating back to pre-Christian times. Schmutzli, he says, was a symbol of the evil spirits which these ancient festivals sought to drive out with a combination of noise and light.

He gives the example of an illustration from 1486 that depicts a demon who abducts children. “This child-stealing motif returns again in Schmutzli,” he said.

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On The Hidden Pagan Meaning Of Santa Claus

Via Verso Books, McKenzie Wark defends Christmas in fantastic fashion:

Xmas is pagan, and this is what places it outside of Jewish and Christian understandings, of gifts, of aesthetics, of time. Christians understood its power and tried to coopt it. But the Christian version distorts it by tying it to the birth of their sacrificial savior. The pagan way is about understanding excess in and of itself, not as compensation for sacrifice.

What is essential to Xmas: there is a tree, and a gift for a child under a tree, that is “from Santa.” For the child, Xmas has nothing to do with ‘consumerism’. The gift just appears. Its a bit of what the surrealists called the marvelous. For the adult, it is a way to give to the child without expecting the child to be grateful to the parent. Rather, it is so the child can know that world itself could be generous.

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The War Against Too Much of Everything

The “Buy Nothing Christmas” campaign from Adbusters’Kalle Lasn has attracted the attention of the New York Times:

If you haven’t finished your holiday shopping yet, don’t bother.

Skip the mall and the neighborhood store, resist the urge to shop online and, by all means, don’t buy anything you don’t truly need.

So says Kalle Lasn, 70, maestro of the proudly radical magazine Adbusters, published in Vancouver, British Columbia. Mr. Lasn takes gleeful pleasure in lobbing provocations at global corporations — and his latest salvo is “Buy Nothing Christmas.”

“As our planet gets warmer, as animals go extinct, as the humans get sicker, as our economies bail and our politicians grow ever more twisted,” Americans just go shopping, Adbusters says on its Web site. Overconsumption is destroying us, yet shopping is “our solace, our sedative: consumerism is the opiate of the masses.”

“We’ve got to break the habit,” Mr.

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