Tag Archives | Florida

Florida Man Claiming To Be ‘Palm Reader’ Palming Women In Walmart Parking Lot

Screen Shot 2014-05-20 at 3.45.12 PMWhat? Next thing I know you’ll be telling me that the guy offering prostate exams in the back alley behind Taco Bell isn’t legit.

According to an arrest report, a female reported Thursday that she was approached by the man in the Walmart parking lot after she had loaded her child into her car. He said he wanted to read her palm.

The man told the woman he could tell she was pregnant and requested to feel the child’s heartbeat. Although the woman said “no” the man insisted and touched the woman’s breast. Before walking away, the man told the woman the child was a boy.

via Sanford Herald – Sanford man arrested after groping women in Walmart parking lot.

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Important Public Health Message: Don’t Drink Liquid Nitrogen

No matter how yummy it might sound or how nifty keen the vapor looks, please try to refrain from drinking this sub-zero liquid that can burn holes through your digestive tract. This message brought to you by  a charitable donation from the partnership of “You should have paid attention in science class” and “Yeah, well the carnies at the state fair swear their rides are safe, too”, with substantial underwriting by “Were this a comic book you’d have super powers now”.

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MIAMI BEACH, Florida (Reuters) – A trendy South Beach restaurant has pulled liquid nitrogen cocktails off its menu after a woman was served a drink with too much of the sub-zero liquid and was rushed to the hospital with a burned esophagus.

Luxury “cryogenic cocktails” have become popular, with bartenders using small amounts of liquid nitrogen to create smoking drinks. The liquid can also instantly freeze everything from ice cream to fruit, which then easily shatters into glass-like shards.

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Florida Man Wants To Marry His Computer Because Of Gay Marriage Or Something

PIC: G. Dallarto (C)

PIC: G. Dallarto (C)

Chris Sevier is taking a stand against gay marriage (I think?) by filing a suit to marry his computer.   (I’m assuming that laptop of his doesn’t have any lesbian porn on it. )

via Florida Man Says He Wants to “Marry My Porn Filled Apple Computer” in Federal Gay Marriage Case | New Times Broward-Palm Beach.

Enter Chris Sevier, “a former Judge Advocate and combat veteran” who filed a motion to intervene on the Florida gay marriage case on behalf of “other minority sexual orientation groups.”

In the 24-page document, Sevier says that if gay couples “have the right to marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts, then I should have the right to marry my preferred sexual object.”

Which is?

“My porn filled Apple computer,” according to Sevier’s filing.

Recently, I purchased an Apple computer. The computer was sold to me without filters to block out pornography.

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Indigenous Activists Speak Out as Florida Agencies Prepare to Flood Sacred Burial Grounds

PIC: EarthFirst (CC)

PIC: EarthFirst (CC)

Via the Earth First! Newswire, Matt Keene writes:

Indigenous peoples and those standing in solidarity refuse to sit idle as the St. Johns River Water Management District and U.S. Army Corps of Engineers prepare to flood sacred burial grounds.

The indigenous activists have concentrated their efforts near the headwaters of the St Johns River in the Three Forks Marsh Conservation Area, where the SJRWMD and USACE intend to flood approximately 14,000 acres, creating a sprawling lake on top of essential wetlands and disturbing indigenous burial grounds.

In an urgent call to action, the Council of the Original Miccosukee Simanolee Nation Aboriginal Peoples stated that:

“The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, Water Management Districts and Seminole Tribe, Inc. have crossed the line disturbing our way of life, and our culture, and our sacred (holy) grounds and sacred (holy) aboriginal burial grounds. This has been going on too long.

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‘Not On My Watch’: Crime Stoppers Chief Eats Document Instead of Handing it Over to Judge

Concerned that a document demanded by a Judge would compromise a tipster’s identity that led to a drug arrest, Miami-Dade Crime Stoppers Executive Director Richard Masten ate it instead of handing it over to a judge.

Via NBC Miami:

The executive director of Miami-Dade Crime Stoppers is facing up to two weeks in jail on a contempt of court charge for stuffing an anonymous tip in his mouth instead of handing it over to a judge Friday.

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Men Could Get Year in Prison For ‘Cannonball’ Jump on Manatee and Calf

When it comes to sheer stupidity and unthinking maliciousness Seth Andrew Stephenson, 22, of Rockledge, Florida, and Taylor Blake Martin, 22, of Alabama may give the Goblin Topplers a run for their money. They recently pleaded guilty to harassing an endangered species after a video surfaced of them luring a manatee and its calf to a dock so that Stephenson could “cannonball” on its back. They may get a year in prison. Read on after the jump for extra-strength Facebook stupidity.

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