Tag Archives | Florida

Miami Is Most Miserable City In U.S.

For those Americans who think that escaping the frigid climes of the northern states for sunny Florida is the path to happiness, think again (about Miami at least). Reuters reports:

Warm sun, white beaches, and million-dollar mansions notwithstanding, Miami has captured the dubious distinction of being the most miserable city in the United States, according to a new poll.

Photo: UpstateNYer (CC)

Photo: UpstateNYer (CC)

The playground of the rich and famous is home to a crippling housing crisis, one of the highest crime rates in the country, and lengthy daily commutes for workers, all of which have propelled it to the No. 1 position in the Forbes.com list.

“Miami has sun and beautiful weather but other things make people miserable. You have this two-tier society: glitzy South Beach attracts celebrities, but the income inequality has skyrocketed in recent years,” explained Forbes Senior Editor Kurt Badenhausen.

The rankings are based on factors including jobless rates, violent crime, foreclosures, income and property taxes, as well as considerations like weather, commute time and political corruption.

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Image Of Virgin Mary Appears At Florida Hamburger Restaurant

virginIf the Virgin Mary really did materialize in this amazing-sounding restaurant, I think I might be open to Christianity. Report from the Tampa Bay Observer:

Now the Virgin Mary’s likeness has popped up on a stainless steel wall inside Hamburger Mary’s, an Ybor City restaurant with customers more likely to show up for gay karaoke nights and celebrity drag-queen shows than religious revelations.

“These two ladies in one of the booths saw the image during Sunday brunch,” said day manager Melanie Todd, who goes by the name Melanie Minyon (pronounced like mignon) when performing in blue wigs and over-the-top sexy gowns at the restaurant’s nighttime drag shows. “One of them was in tears she was so moved, and they were both carrying on and taking pictures.

“Now, we serve all-you-can-drink Bloody Marys for Sunday brunch,” Todd said, “so I think it’s safe to say there are lots of visions being seen around here then.

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Clean-Shaven, Severed Leg Washes Ashore In St. Petersburg, Florida

footThe beachfront find raises a host of questions. Why shave your leg if it’s going to be cut off? Or, why shave a severed leg if you’re going to toss it into the ocean? For what it’s worth, this area also saw multiple brutal attacks by people who believed themselves to be vampires in 2011. The Tampa Bay Times reports:

Police continued a search for clues Wednesday in a mystery that began Tuesday morning when Canadian tourists found a severed human leg behind a waterfront home. The leg washed ashore near the Bay Vista Recreation Center. Police believe it was in the water for a day or two. They believe it was a right leg that may have belonged to an overweight white female who was dismembered.

Two marine units on Wednesday searched waters from Tierra Verde to the Tropical Shores area, said St. Petersburg police spokesman Mike Puetz. Officers did not find any other body parts, he said.

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Hemp Activists and “Truthers” Unite

HempVia the Bob Tuskin Radio Show:

After 11 years, the Florida Hemp Fest is back with a new twist.

Dennis “Murli” Watkins, who served four months of jail time for orchestrating a “doobie toss” at the event in 1994, is bringing back what used to be an annual celebration of marijuana and a protest for its legalization.Gainesville Sun

Murli just so happens to be a supporter of the “truth.” When we were contacted by him to set up a table and to give a talk on various topics such as the Federal Reserve, fluoride, and 9/11 we gladly accepted.

Watkins said this year’s edition will touch on other, even more controversial issues than legalizing pot. “Hemp has been cultivated for thousands of years. Here it is almost 2012, and we’re still fighting this same stupid battle,” he said. “9/11 was an inside job and they’re worried about someone smoking a doobie.

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You Can No Longer (Legally) Have Sex with Animals in Florida

Dog BarkingMatthew Hendley writes in the Broward-Palm Beach New Times:

… Senate Bill 344, which bans “sexual contact” and “sexual conduct” with animals, goes into effect on Saturday [October 1].

Unfortunately for animal sexers, several people have faced charges in Florida after being caught fornicating with fauna; however, we couldn’t find a case of anyone being convicted. Police say Eugene Hickman, a 54-year-old DeFuniak Springs resident, was arrested in June after his grandson walked into a bedroom and saw him naked on top of the family bulldog, attempting to have sex with it.

According to the Walton County Clerk, Hickman is scheduled to go to trial in November on an animal cruelty charge as well as a charge of lewd and lascivious exhibition charge for allegedly doing the deed in front of the kid … Still, State Sen. Nan Rich’s bill banning sex with animals didn’t pass until her third attempt because legislators were convinced they were wasting their time on something that never happens.

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Woman Mauls Elderly Man In Another Gulf Coast Vampire Attack

110909-pcso-hmed-8a.grid-4x2In a brutal incident reminiscent of one in Houston three weeks ago, a wheelchair-bound Florida man taking shelter from a storm had part of his face eaten off at an abandoned Hooters restaurant by a young woman claiming to be a vampire. Someone once told me that Pensacola is one of the worst places on Earth, and I’m starting to understand why. Via ABC Action News:

A St. Petersburg man who had dozed off in his motorized wheelchair woke up to find himself being attacked by a woman, according to police. Morton Ellis, 69, said he fell asleep after parking his wheelchair on the porch of a vacant Hooters to escape the rain.

He said the woman, 22-year-old Josephine Rebecca Smith, told him she was a vampire as she bit off chunks of his face and part of his lip.

Ellis managed to fend her off and called police.

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An Epitaph for the American Dream

BillHicksForPresident

Photo: Reckon (CC)

Via Modern Mythology:

(Update: Since writing this entry, I recently discovered a Mother Jones article informing me that the Republican/Tea Party Governor of Florida, Rick Scott, founded a company called SOLANTIC that specializes in drug testing, among other “public services” … Could it be that this legislation stands to benefit the people who are passing it financially? Hrmm … Jigsaw falling into place.)

Recently, as many of you may have heard, Florida senators successfully passed a bill requiring welfare recipients to receive mandatory drug screenings. It is doubtful the legislation will stop there. In what seems to me to be an instance of VERY OBVIOUSLY blatant racial discrimination and discrimination of the haves towards the have-nots, they are now finding another way to invade all of our lives and rob us of more of our privacy. One gradual erosion of civil liberties at a time. The cruel and hilarious irony of the situation is that although at the moment these measures are now only being taken against those who have already slipped through the cracks, it is only a matter of time before all of our privacy and civil liberties will be up for grabs.… Read the rest

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Florida Homeowners Association Vs. Jesus (Sign)

Via First Coast News:
Four years ago Sarah Phillips moved into her Sutton Lakes home and said she has never had a problem, until now. "We've had it out about a month. We haven't had any complaints from the neighbors..., said Phillips. Phillips has posted a Jesus sign in her yard and there was no reaction from anyone until she received a letter from the Sutton Lakes Homeowners Association telling her having it in her yard is a violation of the covenant. "It is basically telling us to remove the sign, under the bylaws," she said. Phillips said she did sign the Covenant, Conditions and Restrictions, or CCR, but never agreed to allow the free exercise of her religion to be prohibited.
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Two Florida Teens Arrested For ‘Sexting’

SextingI still hate the word "sexting" ... Jim Peppard writes for WTSP 10 News:
Brooksville, Florida — Two teenagers were arrested today for sexting a photo of a bare breast. A 15 year old boy was taken into custody after he told a school resource officer he forwarded a cell phone picture he received last December of a young girl's breast, the sheriff's office said. He said another student at Hernando High School had threatened to do him harm, after learning of the photo. The girl herself was also charged, after admitting she took a picture of herself in the mirror wearing underwear and exposing a breast, and sending it to the boy, according to the arrest affidavit. Both were charged with transmission of pornography by electronic device, processed at the Hernando County Jail and released into the custody of their parents.
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Florida Man Angers His Church By Asking Them to Pray for Soul of Osama Bin Laden (Video)

Even Jesus Hates YouBrian Hamacher reports for NBC Miami:
The South Florida man whose prayer for Osama bin Laden caused a holy mess at mass this past Sunday is speaking out to defend the bizarre benediction. Henry Borga paid $10 to put bin Laden's name on the prayer list at Holy Name of Jesus Catholic Church in West Palm Beach over the weekend, according to WPTV. The name appeared with four others under the mass intentions section in the church's pamphlet, with a cross next to bin Laden's name. While putting the name on the list has caused quite a hubbub, Borga, who said he also prayed for the victims of 9/11, said it was about mercy. "He was a very bad man but he deserved to be punished in life, not by losing his life," Borga said. "He needs forgiveness and compassion from God."
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