Tag Archives | Florida

Florida Senate Accidentally Outlaws Sex?

Florida Weird move, Florida. Via Southern Fried Science:
Question: If your elected officials fail basic taxonomy, promote anti-science curriculum, and consistently attempt to undermine the fundamental underpinning of all biology, what happens when they start trying to legislate from this flawed view of reality? The answer is this poorly-worded miasma of a law recently passed in Florida, which presumably was designed to prevent bestiality and promote animal welfare, but which has actually made it illegal, effective October 1, 2011, for anyone to have sex in Florida:
An act relating to sexual activities involving animals; creating s. 828.126, F.S.; providing definitions; prohibiting knowing sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal; prohibiting specified related activities; providing penalties; providing that the act does not apply to certain husbandry, conformation judging, and veterinary practices; providing an effective date.
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Orlando Uses Sewage To Produce Electricity

Photo:  wfmillar (CC)

Photo: wfmillar (CC)

Can poop be turned into power? The city of Orlando has been working with private-industry partners on turning sewage into electricity in an attempt to answer the age-old question: ‘What if you could take sewage and get rid of it cleanly and quickly, without dumping it in rivers or landfills — and generate pollution-free electricity at the same time?’ Orlando Sentinel reports:

Orlando officials think they’ve perfected a technology that has flummoxed scientists for decades — one they hope will be used worldwide to turn sewage into electricity and earn the city tens of millions of dollars in royalties.

If city officials and their private-industry partners are right, it could be the biggest thing in sewage treatment since the flush toilet.

“We call it poop to power in five minutes,” said project consultant Roy Pelletier.

While the five-year, $8.5 million project has drawn little attention locally, a small, experimental test plant off busy Alafaya Trail near the University of Central Florida has drawn visitors from Mexico, Rio de Janeiro, Abu Dhabi, Canada, Europe and elsewhere in recent weeks.

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Florida Professor Arrested for Having a ‘Suspicious’ Bagel on a Plane

BagelGot to watch those bagels ... Todd Wright reports for NBC Miami:
A Florida professor was arrested and removed from a plane Monday after his fellow passengers alerted crew members they thought he had a suspicious package in the overhead compartment. That "suspicious package" turned out to be keys, a bagel with cream cheese and a hat. Ognjen Milatovic, 35, was flying from Boston to Washington D.C. on US Airways when he was escorted off the plane for disorderly conduct following the incident. Monday's incident is another example of other passengers essentially becoming the authority on terrorist activity on planes. Recently, passenger complaints have resulted authorities taking action against innocent passengers who went to the bathroom too often on a flight and who were just being annoying.
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Florida Police Obtain Warrant to Search ‘All Persons’ in Apartment Complex

Mediterranean AptsWTF?!? These people got searched for living (or visiting someone who lived) in a certain area. Anthony Cormier writes in the Herald Tribune:

NEWTOWN — For months, Sarasota police officers watched drug dealers openly sell crack cocaine and marijuana from a vacant lot behind the Mediterranean Apartments in Newtown. Officers tried to arrest dealers, but suspects often fled and managed to disappear into the neighborhood.

The pressure to make arrests peaked in July 2009, when a man’s mutilated body was found in one of the apartment units. So that December, the agency tried something it had never done before. It sought permission from a judge to search anyone and everyone who parked or set foot in the apartment complex parking lot.

More than a dozen officers and the city’s SWAT team flooded the area. They had permission to detain and pat down anyone they saw in the area. During the two-hour raid, a dozen people were searched and, even though officers justified the wide search by telling a judge no “innocent persons” congregated in the abandoned lot, only four people were charged with drug crimes.

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Florida Truck Dealership Gives Out Free AK-47s With Vehicle Purchases

truck_ak47 Ah, America, where machine guns are dispensed like party favors. Via Aol News:

A truck dealership in Florida is firing up sales with the promise of a rapid-fire machine gun.

Customers have been streaming into Nations Trucks in Sanford, near Orlando, purchasing two dozen vehicles since the sale campaign began on Veterans Day last week. Each new truck owner also walks out with a free AK-47. “We’ve tripled our business,” general sales manager Nick Ginetta told AOL News. “We knew it would be controversial, but it’s been a phenomenal response.”

An image of the semiautomatic rifle is taped to the showroom’s window to lure shoppers. Buyers receive a $400 voucher good for one Kalashnikov at Shoot Straight, a weapons dealer with several locations in the Sunshine State.

All prospective gun owners must meet state and federal gun-control laws, but Ginetta has still drawn fire from anti-gun activists and alarmed neighbors.

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Florida Airport Opting Out: Rejecting the TSA in Favor of A Private Company

Orlando Sanford International AirportKen Tyndall reports on WDBO Local News:

The backlash continues over those new TSA screening measures, and now one Central Florida airport has decided to go with a private security screening firm. Orlando Sanford International Airport has decided to opt out from TSA screening.

“All of our due diligence shows it’s the way to go,” said Larry Dale, the director of the Sanford Airport Authority. “You’re going to get better service at a better price and more accountability and better customer service.”

Dale says he will be sending a letter requesting to opt out from TSA screening, and instead the airport will choose one of the five approved private screening companies to take over.

Congressman John Mica, who’s expected to lead the powerful Transportation Committee next year, says the TSA is crying out for reform. “I think TSA is overstepping its bounds,” said Mica.

Dale says, if all goes as planned, the private security firm could take over in about 12 months.

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Florida’s ‘Rocket Docket’ Courts Help Banks Force Out Homeowners

The inimitable Matt Taibbi went down to Florida and found that retired judges are rushing through complex cases to speed foreclosures. Guess who the losers are (Hint: it’s not the banks)? From Rolling Stone:

clerkSeal

The foreclosure lawyers down in Jacksonville had warned me, but I was skeptical. They told me the state of Florida had created a special super-high-speed housing court with a specific mandate to rubber-stamp the legally dicey foreclosures by corporate mortgage pushers like Deutsche Bank and JP Morgan Chase. This “rocket docket,” as it is called in town, is presided over by retired judges who seem to have no clue about the insanely complex financial instruments they are ruling on — securitized mortgages and labyrinthine derivative deals of a type that didn’t even exist when most of them were active members of the bench. Their stated mission isn’t to decide right and wrong, but to clear cases and blast human beings out of their homes with ultimate velocity.

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Building Sandcastles Illegal On Florida Beaches

Put your plastic spade and bucket away if you're heading to the beach in Florida. No digging means no sandcastle building. The Raw Story reports:
Ever go to the beach and not think of slapping together a sand castle? And who doesn't enjoy the feeling of wet, warm sand between her toes? According to federal authorities who recently intercepted an oil-hunting reporter on a Florida beach, those activities have been deemed "illegal." The officers' legal revelation (which is not actually true) came as something of a surprise to Dan Thomas, reporter for WEAR ABC 3 in Pensacola, Florida, who was visiting the Gulf Islands National Seashore for a special report.
Continues at The Raw Story ...
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Quran Burning Story: This Is How The Media Embarrass Themselves

Jason Linkins writes on Huffington Post:
Terry Jones

[Thursday] afternoon, the leader of a microscopic cult of idiots who announced plans to stage an “international” day of Quran burning in Gainesville, Florida held a press conference, for a rapt media which decided that his moronic plans were the single most important thing going on in America. At that press conference, in front of “9/11 Truther” signs, this cult leader lied to everyone who was watching, telling them that he was going to call off his 9/11 book burning festival because he had successfully reached a deal with the people behind the Park51 community center in Lower Manhattan, in which they would move their facility away from the site of the World Trade Center.

Not a word of this was true, but it was amazing, all the same — at one fell swoop, we had finally knit up the strands of a season of irrationality into one big, shiny, synergized knot.

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Florida Baby Facebook Photo Sparks Controversy

Michael Phelps got caught through Facebook, why not a baby! They do say a picture is worth a thousand hits, um, words. CBS News reports:

Nineteen-year-old Rachel Stieringer turned herself in to Clay County Sheriff’s deputies and has been charged with possession of drug paraphernalia after she took a picture of her baby “smoking” out of a bong and posted it on Facebook.

Stieringer claimed that the photo was taken as a joke to show one of her friends;  however, the supposed prank backfired big time when a Texas resident got wind of the photo and notified Florida’s abuse hot line.

The Florida Department of Children and Families launched an investigation into Stieringer’s parenting skills and announced Monday that although the bong appears to be smoke-filled the baby sustained no injuries in the taking of this photo, and his drug tests came back negative.

However, his chances of someday being appointed to the Supreme Court have taken a big hit.

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