Tag Archives | Herpes

Library Copy of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Tests Positive for Herpes and Cocaine

kittygreyA library copy of popular erotica novel Fifty Shades of Grey tested positive for the herpes virus and cocaine. There are far too many easy jokes I could make about this. Just supply some of your own in the comment section below. Just wash your hands afterward.

Via Time

Two Belgian university professors decided to apply their knowledge of toxicology screenings to the 10 most borrowed books at the Antwerp library. Each book underwent bacteriology and toxicology tests, and the findings reveal that library books are even more germ-covered than you expected.

While the experts found that all 10 books contained traces of cocaine–enough so that people who touched the books wouldn’t feel the effects, but might test positive for the drug–they also found something pretty gross: Fifty Shades of Grey, your weird aunt’s favorite mainstream erotic series, tested positive for traces of the herpes virus.

Continue Reading

Hundreds of Herpetic Monkeys Roam Florida

Oh, Florida: Funny-Monkey-2You’re the state that keeps on giving, Anybody got a blowgun loaded with Valtrex handy?

Via Drudge Report:

Beware of the monkeys!

Hundreds of rare wild monkeys — some carrying herpes — are on the loose in Florida after a tour guide brought the spunky critters to the state long ago.

Wildlife officials said that three pairs of Rhesus monkeys were transported to a park near Ocala in the 1930s by tour operator Colonel Tooey after a “Tarzan” flick sparked a fascination with the creature.

But the breed has since boomed and more than 1,000 of the monkeys now live in the state, wildlife officials say.

Read on for tales of Herpes Monkeys Madness.

 … Read the rest

Continue Reading

Vaccines For AIDS, Alzheimer’s, Herpes

The AP reports (question: why is it that vaccines are suddenly front page news every day?):

Malaria. Tuberculosis. Alzheimer’s disease. AIDS. Pandemic flu. Genital herpes. Urinary tract infections. Grass allergies. Traveler’s diarrhea. You name it, the pharmaceutical industry is working on a vaccine to prevent it.

Many could be on the market in five years or less.

Contrast that with five years ago, when so many companies had abandoned the vaccine business that half the U.S. supply of flu shots was lost because of factory contamination at one of the two manufacturers left.

Vaccines are no longer a sleepy, low-profit niche in a booming drug industry. Today, they’re starting to give ailing pharmaceutical makers a shot in the arm.

The lure of big profits, advances in technology and growing government support has been drawing in new companies, from nascent biotechs to Johnson & Johnson. That means recent remarkable strides in overcoming dreaded diseases and annoying afflictions likely will continue…

[more at AP]… Read the rest

Continue Reading