Apparently a few phrases here and there get through, most of them profanities. You’re welcome, world.
Tag Archives | Humor
Popular Children's Book Author Reveals The 'Spooky Truth' About Creepy Conspiracy Theories
From Modern Mythology:
German physicists Jörg P. Rachen and Ute G. Gahlings have recently discovered evidence of a Universal Conspiracy and have just published their results in a brilliant exposé published in the highly esteemed Journal of Comparative Irrelevance:
Abstract: “Based on the cosmological results of the Planck Mission, we show that all parameters describing our Universe within the ΛCDM model can be constructed from a small set of numbers known from conspiracy theory. Our ﬁnding is conﬁrmed by recent data from high energy particle physics. This clearly demonstrates that our Universe is a plot initiated an unknown interest group or lodge. We analyse possible scenarios for this conspiracy, and conclude that the belief in the existence of our Universe is an illusion, as previously assumed by ancient philosophers, 20th century science ﬁction authors and contemporary ﬁlm makers.
|It’s like this, only BIGGER|
That would be Bill Maher, Donald Trump and Trump’s father (or not). Unfortunately, the Donald doesn’t find the joke funny, reports Reuters:
A comedian, a millionaire and an orangutan. It may sound like the beginning of a screwball joke, but Donald Trump isn’t laughing.
The famously outspoken real estate magnate has sued famously outspoken television host Bill Maher, demanding the $5 million Maher offered to give to charity if Trump could prove his father is not an orangutan.
But legal experts say Trump is unlikely to get a dime from Maher, the host of the HBO series Real Time With Bill Maher, because his offer was clearly made in jest.
“It’s parody,” said Bryan Sullivan, a Los Angeles entertainment lawyer. “You know Bill Maher is a comedian and a satirist. The offer is so ridiculous.”
Trump, however, has taken the comic at his word…
[continues at Reuters]
Unless I am being spoofed, several hundred readers wrote me in as their selection for President. I am honored. Some asked if I were elected by write-ins and not instantly assassinated, who would I appoint? An easy question to answer. Nomi Prins would be Secretary of the Treasury, and Pam Martens would be Deputy Secretary of the Treasury. Lew Rockwell would be the chairman of the Federal Reserve. Michael Hudson would be chairman of the Council of Economic Advisors. Harvey Silverglate would be Attorney General. Glenn Greenwald would be Deputy Attorney General. Dean Booth and Larry Stratton would be White House legal counsels. Willie Nelson would be Secretary of Agriculture...