Tag Archives | Idiots

DC Talk – Secret Chiefs of the Illuminati?

DCCoverOh, the weird shit you find on the internets. To preface this, earlier in the week I quite randomly had a dream that featured the impressively god awful Christian rap group DC Talk (which I wrote about on Facebook, Friend me). In this dream, I was in a classroom where DC Talk showed up to perform. We couldn’t believe our teacher actually thought this was something that we’d find interesting. So we students just mockingly encouraged them all hipster irony style as they did their crappy thing. Didn’t seem like there was a lot of substance to the dream, but upon waking up I realized that the only reason I’d heard of DC Talk in the first place had to do with them being forced on us in Church youth group as a kid. The dream had an incredibly similar vibe. “Hey kids, stop listening to that satanic secular music, these guys are church approved.” Being impressionable and somewhat open to the idea, those of us in the youth group took the tape home and gave it a listen just to discover that, wow, this is the worst rap group ever.… Read the rest

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Pair Jailed For Attacking Edinburgh Mosque With Bacon

Pic: PORGE (CC)

Pic: PORGE (CC)

They’re muslims, not vampires, and that’s bacon, not garlic, you fascist dimwits. The porcine projectiles were lobbed by a man and woman associated with the Scottish Defence League, itself associated with far-right organization the English Defence League. Bacon belongs in frying pans and on plates, not mosque windows. They should give them a few extra months for wasting delicious foodstuffs.

Douglas Cruikshank, 39, and 18-year-old Chelsea Lambie threw bacon at the window of Edinburgh’s Central Mosque and wrapped the meat around door handles on January 31 last year.

Edinburgh Sheriff Court heard they and a third offender were associated with the Scottish Defence League, prosecutors said.

Wayne Stilwel, 25, from Gorebridge, Midlothian, previously admitted his involvement and was sentenced to 10 months in September.

Cruikshank, from Galashiels in the Borders, and Lambie, from Paisley, Renfrewshire, were convicted of threatening and abusive behaviour following a trial.

The trial heard that a man who was inside the mosque praying on the morning of the attack heard something hitting the prayer room window.

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How to Become a Living Douche! The Impressively Embarrassing Occultism of EA Koetting

PIC: Lucifuge Rofocale (PD)

PIC: Lucifuge Rofocale (PD)

The thing about me being an Occultist is that I didn’t choose the Occult, the Occult chose me. It’s a long story and one you can hear me talk about in this podcast if you’re curious, but the reason I bring it up is that after being summoned into the practice it’s come to my attention that I have exactly nothing in common with the vast majority of freaks in the “Occult scene”. Because of this reality, I’ve started referring to what I do as Psychedelic Occultism (or Chaos Sorcery, or Transdimensional Psychology, or Enthneogenic Esotericism if you’re so inclined) to differentiate it from what these people are doing. It’s pretty important that I do this because lord, I wouldn’t want ANYONE to think that my practice is in any way similar to hyper-douchebags like say, EA Koetting, who I just stumbled on via the internets.

This fucking guy.… Read the rest

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Real-Life Beavis And Butthead Arrested While Attempting to Set More Fires in San Diego County

WildfireHuh. huh huh. Let’s burn stuff. YEAH! FIRE! FIRE!

The two are accused of trying to spark at least two brush fires in the south part of the city, according to police. Silva and the other person were arrested after witnesses reported seeing two people who set one fire on South Escondido Boulevard and were trying to spark another fire at Kit Carson Park.

On Thursday night, firefighters continued to battle the blazes raging in San Diego County as evacuation orders were lifted in some areas and crews on the ground were fighting to protect homes threatened by flames near Escondido.

Ten blazes had burned a total of more than 10,000 acres as flames raced across drought-stricken hillsides, destroying or damaging dozens of structures and forcing hundreds of people to evacuate neighborhoods in the northern part of the county, officials said.

The most active blaze, fire officials said, was in the San Marcos area, where the Cocos fire had charred about 1,200 acres and was threatening homes in unincorporated neighborhoods west of Escondido.

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Thoughtless BMXers Shoot Video of Themselves Bunnyhopping Bikes Over Homeless People – Public Not Amused

Some BMX bikers have found themselves the subjects of well-deserved criticism after filming themselves “bunnyhopping” their bikes over what appears to be homeless people. The video went viral after Adam Grandmaison, owner of Los Angeles biking apparel company ONSOMESHIT and a friend of the bikers, shared the video on the company’s Facebook page. Grandmaison took the video down and apologized after the local news reported on it, but later returned to voice his exasperation that the story was considered newsworthy and to say that by sharing it he hoped to inspire children.

Via TheComeUp.

I suppose this is where I should apologize for sort of kind of condoning my friends bunnyhopping over a couple of homeless people. Honestly I’ve never bunnyhopped over a homeless person but I wasn’t exactly offended seeing my friends do it either. That video captured the anti-social aspect of riding street that I’ve always loved. The news are trying to pass this off as us having no respect for the homeless, which apparently passes for a legitimate news story in 2014.

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Idiot Hospitalized After Kissing Snapping Turtle on The Lips

Pic: Unknown

Pic: Unknown

Alligator snapping turtles are somewhat common where I live, and growing up I learned to leave the hell alone. Grown-ups warned me and my friends that they could snap through broomsticks and fingers with ease, and called them “thunder turtles” because the story went that they would bite and hold on until thunder struck. Unless you’ve seen one in the flesh it’s really hard to understand how enormous and intimidating they are. The one in the picture is tiny, relatively speaking. You’ve got to be stupid to bother these prehistoric-looking beasts. Enter this anonymous and now-hospitalized young man…

Via Daily Mail:

They’re called ‘snapping’ turtles for a very good reason, but this hapless animal lover just had to find out the hard way and ended up in hospital.

The Chinese man was reportedly releasing the ferocious-looking creature into the wild but decided he had to give it a goodbye kiss first.

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Men Could Get Year in Prison For ‘Cannonball’ Jump on Manatee and Calf

When it comes to sheer stupidity and unthinking maliciousness Seth Andrew Stephenson, 22, of Rockledge, Florida, and Taylor Blake Martin, 22, of Alabama may give the Goblin Topplers a run for their money. They recently pleaded guilty to harassing an endangered species after a video surfaced of them luring a manatee and its calf to a dock so that Stephenson could “cannonball” on its back. They may get a year in prison. Read on after the jump for extra-strength Facebook stupidity.

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Man Shoots Girlfriend After Argument About ‘The Walking Dead’

ZOMBIES R SRS BSNS: Via Raw Story: 26 year-old Jared Gurman shot his girlfriend in the back following an argument that began over the television program The Walking Dead. The wounded, Jessica Gelderman, had balked at Gurman's assertion that it was important to prepare for a real zombie apocalypse. Gelderman suffered a pierced lung, pierced diaphragm and shattered rib, but survived the attack.  Much of this season of The Walking Dead has occurred in and around a prison, so maybe Gurman's likely incarceration will provide further training usable in the event of his feared zombie apocalypse.
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3,500 Year-Old Historical Monument Destroyed by Morons

Picture: Jproy2101 (CC)

“We do not inherit the Earth from our Ancestors, we borrow it from our Children” – Native American proverb

Petroglyphs look not unlike the hieroglyphs you see carved onto the walls of pyramids. They’re used to pass on the spiritual teachings of Native Americans from generation to generation. There are some etched on cliffs in the Eastern Sierra that have been there for more than three and a half thousand years. The region is known as Volcanic Tableland and it is held sacred by the Paiute-Shoshone tribe. According to The LA Times a gang of thieves have now, in a matter of hours, cut at least four of the sacred monuments down and successfully stolen them away. Apparently two others were seriously damaged and dozens more scarred with clumsy hammer blows and saw cuts. These monuments are some of the oldest treasures in the United States:

“The individuals who did this were not surgeons, they were smashing and grabbing,” U.S.

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