Tag Archives | Jesus Christ

Jesus Had Shapeshifting Powers, According To Ancient Coptic Text

Sadly, the depictions of Jesus’s X-Men-like abilities were never incorporated into the mainstream version of the Bible read today. Live Science reports:

Dating back 1200 years, a newly deciphered Egyptian text tells part of the crucifixion story of Jesus with apocryphal plot twists, some of which have never been seen before. Written in the Coptic language, the ancient text explains why Judas used a kiss, specifically, to betray Jesus — because Jesus had the ability to change shape:

Then the Jews said to Judas: “How shall we arrest him [Jesus], for he does not have a single shape but his appearance changes. Sometimes he is ruddy, sometimes he is white, sometimes he is red…sometimes he is a youth, sometimes an old man…” This leads Judas to suggest using a kiss as a means to identify him.

Copies of the text are found in two manuscripts, one in the Morgan Library and Museum in New York City and the other at the Museum of the University of Pennsylvania.

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Face Of Jesus Spotted In Bird Poop In Ohio

A warning to watch the road? A message that His Love is found in even the smallest creatures? Via northeast Ohio’s WEWS5 News:

Is it a sign of a possible miracle on the car windshield owned by a northeast Ohio man? See for yourself.

The picture was taken by Jim Lawry. Lawry was in the driveway of his parent’s Brooklyn, Ohio, home when he noticed the spot left behind by a passing bird. A closer look gave him quite a surprise and left him amazed.

Lawry’s son, parents and friends all came out to look. They too were amazed. In an email to NewsChannel5, Lawry said he believed it was some sort of sign and wanted to share.

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Over A Million Evangelicals Pledge To Vote For Jesus As Write-In Candidate For U.S. President

Could this really happen? Hordes of disgruntled born-again Christians may effectively throw away their votes by writing in Jesus Christ for president this November, in what will hopefully continue as trend in future elections. Alternet reports:

Candidate “A” is clearly a tool of Satan. But candidate “B” is a tool of Satan too and, if elected president, he’ll suspend the Constitution and implement a theocracy to be run by his satanically-inspired cult. Evangelist Bill Keller, founder of the Internet ministry liveprayer.com, [declares,] “CHRISTIANS MUST TAKE A STAND AND SAY “NO” TO SATAN THIS NOVEMBER!!! Vote for Jesus!”

Keller means it. His website Voting For Jesus claims to have received well over one million pledges from voters who say that they will, on November 6, 2012, cast their votes for the write-in candidacy of Jesus Christ for president of the United States.

More pledges flood in at the rate, during Eastern U.S.

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“Jesus said to them, ‘My wife…’”

Papyrus fragment: front. Karen L. King 2012

Remember all the fuss about Jesus having married surrounding the publication of The Da Vinci Code nearly a decade ago? Well now Harvard University Divinity professor Karen L. King has found an ancient papyrus fragment that actually refers to his having a wife. Professor King has published a paper in which she explains,

This is the only extant ancient text which explicitly portrays Jesus as referring to a wife. It does not, however, provide evidence that the historical Jesus was married, given the late date of the fragment and the probable date of original composition only in the second half of the second century. Nevertheless, if the second century date of composition is correct, the fragment does provide direct evidence that claims about Jesus’s marital status first arose over a century after the death of Jesus in the context of intra-Christian controversies over sexuality, marriage, and discipleship.

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Did Jesus Flee To Japan And Become A Rice Farmer?

This monumental twist seems as plausible and satisfactory of a possible end to Jesus’s life as any. The BBC investigates:

A Japanese legend claims that Jesus escaped Jerusalem and made his way to Aomori in Japan where he became a rice farmer. Christians say the story is nonsense. However, a monument there known as the Grave of Christ attracts curious visitors from all over the world.

To reach the Grave of Christ or Kristo no Hakka as it is known locally, you need to head deep into the northern countryside of Japan, a place of paddy fields and apple orchards. The story goes that after escaping Jerusalem, Jesus made his way across Russia and Siberia to Aomori in the far north of Japan where he became a rice farmer, married, had a family and died peacefully at the age of 114.

Halfway up a remote mountain surrounded by a thicket of bamboo lies a mound of bare earth marked with a large wooden cross.

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Should Christians Be Anarchists?

So argues scholar Alexandre Christoyannopoulos. Could today’s Christians really handle following the sociopolitical implications of Jesus’s teachings? Via New Left Project:

Leo Tolstoy wrote that: “Christianity in its true sense puts an end to the State.” This illustrates the main idea behind Christian anarchism, which is that when it comes to politics, “anarchism” is what follows (or is supposed to follow) from “Christianity”. “Anarchism” here can mean, for example, a denunciation of the state (because through it we are violent, we commit idolatry, and so on), the envisioning of a stateless society, and/or the enacting of an inclusive, bottom-up kind of community life.

There are many scriptures from the New Testament which provide the foundation for such a view. Arguably, all those passages that touch on politics point to facets of anarchism. The most famous must be the Sermon on the Mount, but much of its content is repeated in the many passages in which Jesus, James, Peter or Paul talk of forgiveness, of being servants or of not judging one another – the state does not do that (or rather we don’t do that through it), and if we did it then the state would anyway become redundant.

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Living With The Jesus Of Siberia

The Church of the Last Testament is equipped with solar energy, vegetable gardens, and trampolines, money is meaningless, and children sing pop songs and chase after adorable animals. As far as 21st-century Jesus reincarnations, this has to be one of the most convincing:
Deep in Siberia's Taiga forest is Vissarion, a cult leader who looks like Jesus and claims to be the voice of God. He's known as "the Teacher" to his 4,000 followers...who [possess an] unflinching belief in UFOs and the Earth's imminent demise.
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