Tag Archives | Jesus Christ

When Gay Marriage Was A Christian Rite

sergius_bacchus_7th_centuryWhen the conservative-minded say they favor a return to the traditional Christian definition of marriage, they might want to further explore what they mean by that. Via Irish Times:

A Kiev art museum contains a curious icon from St. Catherine’s monastery on Mt. Sinai. It shows two robed Christian saints. Between them is a traditional Roman pronubus (best man) overseeing what in a standard Roman icon would be the wedding of a husband and wife. In the icon, Christ is the pronubus. Only one thing is unusual. The “husband and wife” are in fact two men.

The very idea of a Christian homosexual marriage seems incredible. Yet after a twelve year search of Catholic and Orthodox church archives Yale history professor John Boswell has discovered that a type of Christian homosexual “marriage” did exist as late as the 18th century. Contrary to myth, Christianity’s concept of marriage has not been set in stone since the days of Christ, but has evolved as a concept and as a ritual.

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Phishing For Trolls With Jesus

JCThis is a test. This is only a test. Had this been an actual religious emergency, the omnipotent creator of the universe would surely be sending plagues and pestilence, lightning bolts, or perhaps a herd of stampeding unicorns to trample all of the blasphemous infidels slandering his good name. But …. being as no such divine punishments have thus far materialized, I guess we’ll just have to settle for the inevitable intervention by a mob of his angry, self-proclaimed minions here on Earth. Or, failing that, I suppose any highly-opinionated Internet surfers will suffice.

Before jumping straight into throwing rocks at the hornets’ nest though, it might be useful to first define a few key terms just so there’s not any confusion among a certain segment of combative readers as to what particular words actually mean. Semantics, after all, is extremely important if language is to be anything other than meaningless noise.… Read the rest

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Scholar: Resurrection Of Christ Was An Optical Illusion

article-2121149-000BD5CF00000258-954_468x445Basically, the claim is that Jesus’s rising from the dead circa 2,000 years ago happened much in the same way as his being spotted in potato chips today. The Daily Mail writes:

A sensational new theory about the Turin Shroud claims to destroy the core belief of Christianity – that Jesus Christ rose from the dead.

Art historian Thomas de Wesselow is convinced the Shroud is real and did touch Christ’s body. But the Cambridge academic insists that the image on the cloth fooled the Apostles into believing Christ had come back to life, and the Resurrection was in fact an optical illusion.

His theory is that in the mind of a person 2,000 years ago, the image on the Shroud would have been astonishing – far beyond their normal experiences and truly unsettling. ‘They saw the image on the cloth as the living double of Jesus,’ he said. ‘Back then images had a psychological presence, they were seen as part of a separate plain of existence, as having a life of their own.’

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Face Of Jesus Appears On Stingray

120403093859_stingrayNew religious/internet icon Sad Stingray Jesus spotted in South Carolina. Via Charleston’s Post and Courier:

It’s not as famous as Grilled Cheesus or Nun Bun, but the image a James Island woman found Friday on the back of a dead cownose ray may be one day.

“I just kind of thought it looked like a bearded homeless man,” said Erica Scheldt, 24. “But when I posted pictures on Instagram, one of my friends was like, ‘That’s Jesus.’ And I was like, ‘Oh my God! You’re right!’”

Scheldt also pointed out that she is from Nashville, home of the famous Nun Bun, a cinnamon roll that bears a strong resemblance to Mother Teresa.

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Jesus’ Face Appears In British Woman’s Laundry Sock

jesusIt’s common knowledge that Christ manifests himself by appearing in everyday items — here’s his first visitation of 2012. Via the Daily Mail:

This image of Jesus’ face was found on a sock among items of laundry in Kent. Sarah Crane, from Orpington, was stunned when she hung her laundry out to dry and discovered the face of Jesus staring back at her.

I’d left the washing out to dry overnight – and it had probably been sitting there a bit too long when I noticed the face in the sock,’ she said. ‘I called my boyfriend over straight away – we could both clearly see the face of Jesus in the sock.

Miss Crane said she began making a shrine to the sock, but when she moved it, some of its delicate creases fell away and the image is now not as clear.

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Is Jesus A Cheap Imitation Of Mithras?

It's been mentioned, but in this clip from the British show QI, Stephen Fry and co. discuss the strange similarities between the Christian savior and the far cooler and more mystical Roman/Persian god Mithras, who shares the December 25 birthday, and had twelve disciples of his own, and was birthed in the form of a mortal to a virgin mother...
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The Gospel Of Supply Side Jesus

Just in time for the holidays, Al Franken's animated comic tells the biblical story of Supply Side Jesus -- basically, a version of Christ the savior updated to be more palatable for the devout conservative Christians of today. Witness the tale of his radical free-market teachings:
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If You Are Poor, It’s Because God Hates Your Guts

God & Money[Site editor’s note: The following is an excerpt from the new Disinformation title 50 Things You’re Not Supposed To Know: Religion, authored by Daniele Bolelli.]

The history of Christianity is like a treasure chest for anyone who is fond of contradictions. The Gospels bicker with each other by relating similar tales in very different ways. But even more obviously, Christianity has often so dramatically departed from the words attributed to Jesus as to make you wonder how these glaring contradictions can be justified. Jesus tells you to “Love your enemies” and “Turn the other cheek”? So let’s show how much we love Jesus by waging crusades, inquisitions, witch-hunts, and brutal campaigns of repression against anyone who doesn’t love Him as much as we do. Jesus’s pacifism has drowned in the hyper-violence that has characterized much of Christian history.

But—we may object—most Christians alive today seem to have lost the bloodthirsty enthusiasm of their ancestors, and are no longer inclined to exterminate non-Christians.… Read the rest

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Cartoon Jesus Destroys The World

A vintage film clip depicting the son of God's vengeful return to Earth for Armageddon, during which he will smash cars, blow up buildings, and smite non-believers harshly and painfully. Seeing one of the bible's most central predictions in animated form, one realizes that Jesus is essentially the American Godzilla:
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