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Oh Cupcake, Where Art Thou?: The Search for America’s Next Sweetheart

Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan in 2002. Photo: RadioKirk (CC)

The U.S. spiraled into decades of romantic uncertainty and self-loathing after the heartbreak of Mary Pickford losing a leg to gangrene following a vicious tavern brawl in 1929. Where will we find America’s Little Cupcake for the 21st century?

Well, 2011 certainly is shaping up to be quite the year for Wisconsinites.  Douchebag Senator Paul Ryan not only escaped the noose for his role in engineering the AIG bailouts in the mid-terms, but also became the budget committee chief this January.  Newly elected RNC chair and former ethical giant Racid Priebus, a Kenosha native, began in earnest his party’s campaign to contest the health care reform law that he himself claimed was unassailably constitutional. And of course, just this week, America’s Team, the Green Bay Packers took the crown in the fairly eventful Superbowl XLV.

Whew! Pretty heady stuff — but the ride’s not over yet. Valentine’s weekend is almost upon us, and as the United State’s official Capitol of Love is in Milwaukee, Wisconsin is once more at the center stage of world events.… Read the rest

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