Did you buy or receive an engagement ring? If so, you may enjoy this funny PSA from College Humor. Sure, it’s a joke, but as they say, “Many a true word is spoken in jest.”
Tag Archives | Marriage
Davecat lives with his wife and mistress, both dolls, and thinks synthetic partners are ideal for those who don’t want to deal with humans’ inconsistencies. (Atlantic article.)
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Davecat met his future wife, Sidore Kuroneko at a goth club in 2000, so the story goes. The less romantic but perhaps more true version is that he saved up for a year and a half to buy her online. She cost about $6,000.
Sidore is a RealDoll, manufactured by Abyss Creations in the shape of a human woman. She is covered in artificial skin made of silicone, so she’s soft. These high-end, anatomically correct—even equipped with fake tongues—love dolls (or capital-D Dolls) are ostensibly made for sex. But 40-year-old Davecat (a nickname acquired from videogames that he now prefers to go by) and others who call themselves iDollators see their dolls as life partners, not sex toys. Davecat and Sidore (or, as he sometimes calls her, Shi-chan) obviously aren’t legally married, but they do have matching wedding bands that say “Synthetik [sic] love lasts forever,” and he says they’re considering some sort of ceremony for their 15th anniversary.
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Despite the fondness among certain politicians and pundits for “traditional marriage,” a nostalgic-sounding concept that conjures a soft-focus Polaroid of grandma and grandpa, few consider the actual roots of our marital traditions, when matrimony was little more than a business deal among unequals. Even today, legal marriage isn’t measured by the affection between two people, but by the ability of a couple to share Social Security and tax benefits. In reality, it’s the idea of marrying for love that’s untraditional.
“Love was considered a reason not to get married. It was seen as lust, as something that would dissipate.”
For most of recorded human history, marriage was an arrangement designed to maximize financial stability. Elizabeth Abbott, the author of “A History of Marriage” explains that in ancient times, marriage was intended to unite various parts of a community, cementing beneficial economic relationships.
A team from the University of Manchester analyzed 10 million marriages, using census data from the U.K. and inferring astrological signs from couples’ birth dates. Astrologists have ideas about which signs make the best matches—a Sagittarius is better off with a Leo or Aquarius than a Cancer. But the University of Manchester team found that lonely hearts who worry about the zodiac are wasting their time. The study concludes: "This research shows that astrological sign has no impact on the probability of marrying – and staying married to – someone of any other sign."
Just because you’re dead and rotting doesn’t mean you can’t be a hot ticket as a bride or groom. The Global Post reports:
Four men in northwest China have been sentenced for digging up the corpses of women and selling them for “ghost marriages” to families whose sons died as bachelors. The remains of ten “brides” were sold for a total of $38,000, according to court reports.
Ritual ghost marriages, which is believed to date back to the 17th century BC, is a custom in which parents find “spouses” for their unmarried, deceased children so that they can have a family in the afterlife. The tradition is rare in contemporary China, but still practiced in rural [areas].
Families often employ a matchmaker to help find a suitable spouse for their deceased loved ones. Chinese media have reported cases of brokers murdering women and selling their bodies. In 2006, a man from northern Hebei province murdered six women and sold them as “ghost brides.”
Via the Guardian, Will Storr on chemically strengthening the bond between two people by huffing from an inhaler:
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According to scientists at the University of Oxford, at some point in the life of my marriage (rough estimate of about 10 years), a new breed of “love drug” might become available – a medication that could heal wounded relationships. It will likely be delivered as an inhaler and prescribed by a relationship counsellor. You’d sniff up a dose in the presence of your loved one and, as the chemical entered your bloodstream, it would strengthen your bond.
Such a drug would likely contain doses of two structurally similar hormones: oxytocin and vasopressin. Of the two, oxytocin is the more famous–sometimes known as the “cuddle chemical”, its positive role in experiences such as orgasm and childbirth seems to have led some to imagine it as an inhalable happy drug. Vasopressin has been implicated in an animal defending its babies.
More than a century's worth of matrimony wasn't enough to keep them together. After 115 years as an item, two tortoises at an Austrian zoo have decided to call it quits. Trouble began recently when Bibi and Poldi started to pester one another in the cage they've shared at the Klagenfurt Austrian Zoo, where they've resided for 36 years. The two hulking creatures grew up together and, until now, have been inseparable. But now, the star-crossed tortoises refuse to share a cage with one another. "We get the feeling they can't stand the sight of each other anymore," Zoo Director Helga Happ told Austrian Times.
When the conservative-minded say they favor a return to the traditional Christian definition of marriage, they might want to further explore what they mean by that. Via Irish Times:
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A Kiev art museum contains a curious icon from St. Catherine’s monastery on Mt. Sinai. It shows two robed Christian saints. Between them is a traditional Roman pronubus (best man) overseeing what in a standard Roman icon would be the wedding of a husband and wife. In the icon, Christ is the pronubus. Only one thing is unusual. The “husband and wife” are in fact two men.
The very idea of a Christian homosexual marriage seems incredible. Yet after a twelve year search of Catholic and Orthodox church archives Yale history professor John Boswell has discovered that a type of Christian homosexual “marriage” did exist as late as the 18th century. Contrary to myth, Christianity’s concept of marriage has not been set in stone since the days of Christ, but has evolved as a concept and as a ritual.
The newly-recognized Kopimist religion, based in Sweden, views file sharing as the ultimate purpose of modern life. In striking fashion, the faith united two lovebirds earlier this month:
The first kopimist wedding took place this weekend in Belgrade at the Share conference. A woman from Romania and a man from Italy have engaged in a holy Kopimist act. The missionary leader of the Church of Kopimism, Isak, attended as a witness during the wedding.
We are very happy today. Love is all about sharing. A married couple share everything with each other. Hopefully, they will copy and remix some DNA-cells and create a new human being. That is the spirit of Kopimism. Feel the love and share that information. Copy all of its holiness.