Media Circus

Nike Says Tiger Is SorryWow, those internets really move fast. Nike debuted Tiger Woods’ ad this morning, and only hours later, people already uploaded plenty of remixed goodness. The original Woods ad has already creeped out plenty of folks: it has a silent Woods gazing at the camera while the voice of his late father Earl gives him a lecture from beyond the grave.

My favorite of the remixed ads so far is this one with the final parole board speech from Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redemption:

So for thirteen minutes on Friday, the world’s biggest casino came to a crawl while Tiger Woods made his “apology” speech. (One can argue that the apology was more for Nike’s benefit than his wife’s.) As financial blog Zerohedge puts it:

When Tiger’s speech causes a more dramatic volume impact than the FOMC you know this market is all sorts of perfectly efficient. Bloomberg’s chart of the day below shows the total NYSE volume change in-between when Tiger started his convoluted and meandering mea culpa, and when he ended.


FOMC stands for Federal Open Market Committee, a.k.a. “The Fed” that many visitors have plenty to say about. So Tiger had more impact than a Fed Discount Rate hike announcement that day, good to know for the next time I talk to some finance guy who cold calls me about getting into the market…

Seems like just more proof that, as the Onion recently put it (brilliantly), money is a “symbolic, mutually shared illusion.”

Family_GuyBecky Bohrer for Yahoo News/AP:

JUNEAU, Alaska — Sarah Palin is lashing out at the portrayal of a character with Down syndrome on the Fox animated comedy Family Guy:

In a Facebook posting headlined “Fox Hollywood — What a Disappointment,” the 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee and current Fox News contributor said Sunday night’s episode felt like “another kick in the gut.” Palin’s youngest son, Trig, has Down syndrome.

The episode features the character Chris falling for a girl with Down syndrome. On a date, he asks what her parents do.

She replies: “My dad’s an accountant, and my mom is the former governor of Alaska.”

Palin resigned as Alaska governor last summer. Palin’s oldest daughter, Bristol, also was quoted on her mother’s Facebook page, calling the show’s writers “heartless jerks.”…

Phil JonesRichard Girling writes in the Times:

The scientist at the centre of the “climategate” email scandal has revealed that he was so traumatised by the global backlash against him that he contemplated suicide.

Professor Phil Jones said in an exclusive interview with the Sunday Times that he had thought about killing himself “several times”. He acknowledged similarities to Dr David Kelly, the scientist who committed suicide after being exposed as the source for a BBC report that alleged the government had “sexed up” evidence to justify the invasion of Iraq.

In emails that were hacked into and seized upon by global-warming sceptics before the Copenhagen climate summit in December, Jones appeared to call upon his colleagues to destroy scientific data rather than release it to people intent on discrediting their work monitoring climate change.

Jones, 57, said he was unprepared for the scandal: “I am just a scientist. I have no training in PR or dealing with crises.”

From THR’s Live Feed blog:

Round One of Jon Stewart’s appearance on Fox News’ “The O’Reilly Factor.”

There wasn’t any big feud leading up to this moment, just six years of daily ideological opposition since Stewart’s last appearance on the show. Like a snake and mongoose dumped into the same room, you know something interesting is going to happen.

In the first segment, Stewart said he’s “torn” about President Obama’s performance.

“He has decided Congress is an equal branch of government — huge mistake,” Stewart said.

“That’s a pretty smart analysis. A lot of people don’t think you’re smart,” O’Reilly said.

First, finally admits the illegitimate kid, now this. Via Gawker: Sources have told us that, in the throes of their affair, John Edwards and Rielle Hunter made a sex tape that contains…

This has got to be one of the most shocking revelation in this whole media circus, that as the “war on terror” enters its ninth year, the government doesn’t have software to help compensate for simple human error. Let’s hope they all can spell B-O-M-B … Elise Labott and Jill Dougherty report on CNN:

Can You Spell Bomb?

A timeline provided by the State Department officials, who spoke on condition of anonymity, showed that an initial check of the suspect based on his father’s information failed to disclose he had a multiple-entry U.S. visa. The reason was that AbdulMutallab’s name was misspelled.

“That search did not come back positive,” said one official, who called it a quick search without using multiple variants of spelling. On November 20, a State Department cable to Washington on AbdulMutallab — based on the information from his father — lacked any mention of his visa, the officials said.

Via h+ magazine:

An A. I. researcher lists the Top 5 Technology Panics of 2009 — along with the corresponding reality!

There’s exploding iPods, the uproar over “bombing” the moon, and even a flesh-eating robot! But in each case, he supplies some much-needed perspective. Despite a few cases of exploding iPod batteries, “These incidents are incredibly rare.” And during the moon collision, “the rocket stage weighs around two tons, while the Moon weighs in at a 73,477,000,000,000,000,000 tons…”

And while the flesh-eating robot “even comes with a chainsaw, perhaps to help it slice us up into more manageable pieces, before it feasts upon our flesh…” the reality is: it’s a vegetarian.

“Desecration of the dead is against the laws of war — and plant matter is a much better fuel source anyway.”

The reality is this. The housing market crashed because a house is built so that people can live in it. Not so that real estate tycoons can buy and sell them like stocks and bonds pushing their ‘value’ into the stratosphere. A home is a tangible structure which at one time was priced according to what working people could afford. It was. Until, like everything else in our society, they became merely another pawn in the profit game, and all the humanity was squeezed mercilessly out of the house.

They stopped being homes, and started being ‘the housing market.’

TigerWoodsI find this kinda amazing, I guess the media obsession has a bright light. Michael David Smith writes on Fanhouse:

Tiger Woods isn’t just America’s greatest golfer, and he isn’t just America’s greatest philanderer. He’s also America’s greatest vocabulary teacher.

Woods hasn’t yet spoken publicly in the two weeks since his mysterious car accident led to a media feeding frenzy about his sex life. But he has issued a couple of public statements on, and in those statements he showed a grasp of the English language that was apparently too difficult for some.

So what I was joking about in my previous post about these Tiger Woods CGI re-enactment videos may actually take hold for our news to come. Now wondering just how long it will take video-game style reporting to make its way out of the tabloid sphere into the “serious” newsroom.

This media innovation is brought to you by a Taiwanese news organization, Apple Daily. Here is their latest Tiger Woods-related video (and not-so-good English translation):

The world’s no.1 golfer Tiger Woods’ last Friday’s car accident has major development. After 24 year-old cocktail waitress Jaimee Grubbs told a US magazine about their sexual relationship, Woods release a statement within 24 hours, saying he has “regret these transgressions” and “have not been true to the behavior his family deserves.” Although not directly addressing it, their affiar possible discovery by his wife is apparent.