I have worked as a professional in the human services and as an advocate of social justice for nearly two decades. I have worked with thousands of children and families in multiple roles including as a mental health counselor, parenting coach, social worker, educator, and mentor. I am also the proud Mom of a 21-year-old son who I adopted from the foster care system when he was 11. Through my extensive research and work with children and families over many years, I have been able to see the threads of how childhood trauma and attachment breaks in each individual family can lead to the tragic tapestry of global human suffering. Family violence is almost always a symptom of trauma and unmet emotional and physical needs, usually in the childhoods of the adults. I believe that hurt people need compassion, healing and guidance, not punishment. My passion is to heal human suffering at its root causes and to offer people compassion and hope.… Read the rest
Tag Archives | Men
If women can kiss women and still be straight, what about men?
Some scholars have argued that female sexual desires tend to be fluid and receptive, while men’s desires – regardless of whether men are gay or straight – tend to be inflexible and unchanging. Support for this notion permeates popular culture. There are countless examples of straight-identified female actresses and pop stars kissing or caressing other women – from Madonna and Britney to Iggy and J-Lo – with little concern about being perceived as lesbians. When the Christian pop star Katy Perry sang in 2008 that she kissed a girl and liked it, nobody seriously doubted her heterosexuality.
The story is different for men. The sexuality of straight men has long been understood by evolutionary biologists, and, subsequently, the general public, as subject to a visceral, nearly unstoppable impulse to reproduce with female partners.… Read the rest
If there was 100%, without a doubt proof that this worked. Would you do it?
… Read the rest
Men, what would you be willing to give up to live a couple decades longer? Think carefully before you answer. Research has shown that men who are castrated may have significantly longer lifespans. Here’s what we know.
Behavior or Biology?
You’ve probably heard about the gender gap in human life expectancy. According to the United Nations Department of Economic and Social Affairs, females worldwide live an average of 73.5 years, while males average 68.5. Those figures can vary pretty drastically (life expectancy for both men and women is still less than 55 years throughout much of sub-Saharan Africa), but the last several decades have seen large gains in life expectancy across the globe, for men and women, alike. Still, the gender gap persists*. “Wherever they live in the world,” reported the World Health Organization in 2014, “women live longer than men.”
Why the disparity?
By Jason Spendelow, University of Surrey
Masculinity plays an important role in dealing with problems such as depression. Men often don’t feel able to reach out for assistance because both the symptoms of depression and the act of seeking help goes against a stereotypical view of how us blokes should or shouldn’t behave.
Of course, traditional masculine characteristics are not necessarily “good” or “bad”. Stereotypical male traits such as self-reliance and independence can be very valuable in life (for both men and women). But when demonstrated through unhealthy and over-used psychological practises, they can spell trouble for well-being and mark seeking help as off-limits.
For example, adherence to “strait-jacket” masculinity, might not only prevent getting treatment but also intensifies tactics such as hiding depressed mood and increasing risk-taking behaviours such as substance use.… Read the rest
Looks like we’re all related whether you like it or not. That’s good news: I need help painting my house next weekend.
… Read the rest
In work made public today in the journal Science, the team of prominent biologists corroborates the idea that modern humanity originated around 200,000 to 300,000 years ago, rather than a million years earlier, as other experts have theorized.
“It suggests we really are an extremely recent species on this planet,” said Yale University biologist Robert L. Dorit, who led the group. “We are definitely rookies . . . noisy, but new.”
The new research also provides additional evidence that modern humans–despite their apparent racial and ethnic differences–all share the same basic genetic makeup. In one section of the chromosome that makes a person male, men around the world are virtually identical, the scientists discovered.
For their analysis, they sequenced a portion of the male sex chromosome that apparently changes quite slowly over the eons.
I, for one, don’t know how to get men to stop raping other men, let alone getting them to stop raping women. But Irin Carmon has some ideas, from Alternet:
… Read the rest
“I wouldn’t say she was completely passed out but she wasn’t in any state to make a decision for herself.” That’s what one of the witnesses in the Steubenville, Ohio, trial told police of the 16-year-old girl at the center of the case, according to ABC News. Perhaps that witness was one of the three football players who have not been charged but are expected to testify for the prosecution in the trial, which began Wednesday.
Since it still needs to be said, not being “in any state to make a decision for herself” meets the legal definition for rape across the U.S. So here’s a question for that guy: What did he do to try to stop it?
According to the prosecutor’s opening statement Wednesday, these witnesses saw one of the defendants, Trent Mays, try to force oral sex on the girl, but her mouth wouldn’t open.
Bonobo masturbation society? One world therapeutic tribe? R.J. writes at the Daily Attack:
… Read the rest
This book could not have come at a better time. Jack Donovan’s The Way of Men is a spear through the side of the one world therapeutic tribe. Donovan incorporates his theory of masculinity into a Nietzschean critique of modernity that unveils human nature and screams WAR! in the face of feminists and professional utopians.
Donovan explores the origins of masculinity by looking at the human EEA. Different species must evolve different mechanisms in response to the imposed conditions. Donovan describes human males as a party gang species organized into male dominated gangs whose members compete and cooperate for status, women, and the greater good of the gang. The earliest male humans, comprising the genus Homo, needed the warm smell of the gang to survive, to position themselves in, to ground themselves in. For Donovan, the first male “virtues” emerged during man’s hard gang hunter way of life.
Harry: … men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That’s not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Irritating rom-com, When Harry Met Sally, may have been on the money as regards the age old question of platonic relationships between men and women. Scientific American reports that, according to new research, men see their women friends as potential conquests:
… Read the rest
researchers brought 88 pairs of undergraduate opposite-sex friends into…a science lab. Privacy was paramount—for example, imagine the fallout if two friends learned that one—and only one—had unspoken romantic feelings for the other throughout their relationship. In order to ensure honest responses, the researchers not only followed standard protocols regarding anonymity and confidentiality, but also required both friends to agree—verbally, and in front of each other—to refrain from discussing the study, even after they had left the testing facility.
For the record, I don’t believe the ubiquity of prison rape humor disproves the existence of rape culture, but rather proves it. Zek J. Evets writes at the Good Men Project:
… Read the rest
I knew a teenage girl who refused to believe men were capable of being raped by a woman. When I told her the stories about Mary Kay Letourneau, Debra Lafave, and certain Zimbabwean women who even went as far as to steal semen in addition to gang-raping men. She said to me, “that doesn’t count.”
I’ve known grown men who are more likely to believe in UFOs or Bigfoot than some woman who says she was raped. (For the record: UFOs and Bigfoot are real.) They laugh at these women’s stories and slap each others’ backs while calling themselves “good Christian folk”.
Unlike almost any other crime, rape is one in which our private notions of gender, sexuality, and personal responsibility become politicized to the point of oppression.