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Short D*ck Man: Napoleon Confirmed To Have Had Tiny Penis

Pic: (PD)

Pic: (PD)

Rumors about Napoleon’s supposed teeny peeny have circulated for years. According to the Independent, the rumors are true, but how would they be able to tell unless it was somehow preserved at full salute? For that matter, are we even sure that this little guy belonged to Napoleon? Did it come with a certifi-dick of authenticity? Oh, speaking of famous phalli, Russian mystic Rasputin’s was supposedly a foot long. Click here for an NSFW pic of what is alleged to be his monster wang.

Via The Independent:

Poor Napoleon. Nearly two centuries after his death, it has been confirmed that the French military and political leader had a “very small” penis, measured at a modest one-and-a-half inches.

In what sounds like a very morbid, yet compelling, new Channel 4 series, Dead Famous DNA aims to find the remains of history’s most famous figures – from Hitler’s hair and Elvis’s DNA to Napoleon and his penis.

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Alien Chip Found in Napoleon’s Skull?

NapoleonVia Life’s Great Clues:

Scientists examining the remains of Napoleon Bonaparte admit they are “deeply puzzled” by the discovery of a half-inch long microchip embedded in his skull. They say the mysterious object could be an alien implant — suggesting that the French emperor was once abducted by a UFO!

“The possible ramifications of this discovery are almost too enormous to comprehend,” declared Dr. Andre Dubois, who made the astonishing revelation in a French medical journal. Until now, every indication has been that victims of alien abduction are ordinary people who play no role in world events. Now we have compelling evidence that extraterrestrials acted in the past to influence human history – and may continue to do so!”

Dr. Dubois made the amazing find while studying Napoleon’s exhumed skeleton on a $140,000 grant from the French government.

“I was hoping to learn whether he suffered from a pituitary disorder that contributed to his small stature,” he explained.

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