Tag Archives | New York

Bronx Man Finds 3-Foot-Long Snake on His Toilet Seat

SnakesInAToiletGet These Motherfucking Snakes Off My Motherfucking Toilet! Kevin Deutsch and Leo Standora report in the Daily News:
A Bronx man got the scare of his life last night when he went into his bathroom, turned on the light and found a 3-foot snake comfortably coiled on the toilet seat. "There's a giant snake on my toilet," he told cops who arrived at his apartment on White Plains Road in Soundview. The cops corralled the slithery visitor, which turned out to be a harmless corn snake, bagged it and turned it over to the ASPCA. The shaken man told cops the reptile wasn't his pet and probably had made its way into his bathroom through the plumbing. "Look, anytime you walk into your bathroom and find a big snake staring you in the eye, it's going to spook you," said one officer. "We've got enough problems here with bugs and mice. Now there's snakes coming up through our toilets," she said. "That's just scary."
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Bed Bug Blaster: Get Them Before They Get You

Call it the Summer of Bed Bugs in New York City: seems like they have been popping up everywhere around here from Victoria's Secret to the AMC movie theater in Times Square. If you've or your loved ones have been a victim of our new Bed Bug Overlords, get some virtual payback with this Bed Bug Blaster game: Bed Bug Blaster Don't become a bed bug late-night snack! If they can infect GE executives are any of us safe?
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8.4 Million New Yorkers Suddenly Realize New York City Is A Horrible Place To Live

I Love NY“We’re getting the hell out of this sewer,” entire populace reports … The Onion nails it again. As if the mutant bedbug plague wasn’t bad enough. Via The Onion:

NEW YORK—At 4:32 p.m. Tuesday, every single resident of New York City decided to evacuate the famed metropolis, having realized it was nothing more than a massive, trash-ridden hellhole that slowly sucks the life out of every one of its inhabitants.

With audible murmurs of “This is no way to live,” “What the hell am I doing here — I hate it here,” and “Fuck this place. Fuck this horrible place,” all 8.4 million citizens in each of the five boroughs packed up their belongings and told reporters they would rather blow their brains out with a shotgun than spend another waking moment in this festering cesspool of filth and scum and sadness.

By 5:15 p.m. there was gridlock traffic on the outbound sides of the Holland and Lincoln tunnels, and the area’s three major airports were flooded with New Yorkers, all of whom said they wanted to go anyplace where the pressure of 20 million tons of concrete wasn’t constantly suffocating them.

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Newt Gingrich Takes Saudi’s Lead On “Tolerance”

Newt Gingrich. Photo: Gage Skidmore (CC)

Newt Gingrich. Photo: Gage Skidmore (CC)


Aaron Cynic writes at Diatribe Media:

Newt Gingrich, like many other Americans on the far right, has a problem with Mosques, more specifically the planned Islamic community center near Ground Zero. This doesn’t come as a shock in the least, his reasoning (H/T Justin Elliott at Salon) is that there aren’t any churches in Saudi Arabia and also, New York already has Mosques, so we should take the Saudi’s lead on this one:

There should be no mosque near Ground Zero in New York so long as there are no churches or synagogues in Saudi Arabia. The time for double standards that allow Islamists to behave aggressively toward us while they demand our weakness and submission is over.

Those Islamists and their apologists who argue for “religious toleration” are arrogantly dishonest. They ignore the fact that more than 100 mosques already exist in New York City.

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At Last: Installing Tourist/Native Walking Lanes In New York

On Fifth Avenue, not far from Disinformation’s offices, pranksters posed as Department of Transportation employees and reconfigured the sidewalks into “tourist” and “New Yorker” lanes and spent the day training pedestrians on how to use them. This is something for which city citizens have been clamoring for decades — I’m glad these rogue urban planners stepped in and made it happen.

Improv Everywhere New Yorkers vs. Tourists

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FML On The Subway

Only in New York folks. From CNET:

NEW YORK: File this under “not particularly serious news, but hilarious.”

This week, an alteration in New York City transit signs to address forthcoming route changes have placed an unfortunate Internet acronym on a heavily trafficked subway station: Displays that list the color-coded subway services running at the 14th Street-6th Avenue underground station now display a bold “FML.”

Credit: Caroline McCarthy/CNET

Credit: Caroline McCarthy/CNET

The Metropolitan Transportation Authority, or MTA, may or may not have been aware that this is an acronym for “f*** my life,” a profane exclamation of disgruntlement that arose in Web forums, in text messages, and on a popular blog several years ago.

The MTA’s press office could not immediately be reached for comment.

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New York City’s Climate Change Plans

manhattan-under-water

Remember that Vanity Fair issue with all the photos of Manhattan partially submerged because of rising sea levels (example at right)? Well New York City is taking climate change seriously and has just issued the following press release detailing its preparations:

New York City is establishing itself as a global leader in forming a proactive response to climate change, reveals a new report detailing the city’s plans to adapt to the challenges and opportunities the changing climate presents. The plans, revealed in the first report of the New York City Panel on Climate Change (NPCC) and published in the Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, outline the measures the city will take to proactively respond to climate change in a way that will provide both long-term environmental, and short-term economic, benefits to the city.

“Cities are at the forefront of the battle against climate change. We are the source of approximately 80% of global greenhouse gas emissions.

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New York City Studying London’s Surveillance Network

CCTV cameraNYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg was supposed to show up at the CBS Early Show today, where my kid and others from his soccer team were invited to talk about the FIFA World Cup. We wondered why he wasn’t there, and now we know: he was in London learning all about the surveillance capital of the world’s methods of spying on its citizens. Via AP/Yahoo News:

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg is in London to observe the network of security cameras on the city’s transport system.

Bloomberg was shown around a closed-circuit television facility at Westminster Underground station by London Mayor Boris Johnson on Tuesday.

There are 12,000 cameras on London’s subway system, and city officials tout their role in combating crime and terrorism.

Bloomberg has expressed enthusiasm for London’s network of security cameras, one of the world’s largest.

The surveillance “ring of steel” around London’s central business district was the inspiration for a 3,000-camera system in lower Manhattan.

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Don’t Pick Your Nose On The Subway: Rupert Murdoch Might Be Looking

AnimalNY via Jason Shelowitz

AnimalNY via Jason Shelowitz

It’s no secret that Rupert Murdoch wants his Wall Street Journal to usurp rival newspaper the New York Times as the top read for the elites in New York City. Whether or not stories like this one will do the trick is doubtful, but I guess it might give Gothamist a run for its money, were the latter ever to start a print edition…

Last week, Jason Shelowitz, 30, a Chelsea-based painter and freelance graphic designer, started hanging very realistic facsimiles of MTA service advisories in subway cars and train stations around the city. The goal: to call New Yorkers out for their inappropriate or disgusting behavior, and to make them laugh i the process. “Keep your hands to yourself, perv,” one sign says. Another: “Keep your finger out of your nose. Please.” The posters bear the stamp of the MEA: Metropolitan Etiquette Authority.

Shelowitz created more than 300 posters, which he will finish hanging up over the next few days (though he plans to keep a few to sell or give away to friends).

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