Get These Motherfucking Snakes Off My Motherfucking Toilet! Kevin Deutsch and Leo Standora report in the Daily News:
A Bronx man got the scare of his life last night when he went into his bathroom, turned on the light and found a 3-foot snake comfortably coiled on the toilet seat.
“There’s a giant snake on my toilet,” he told cops who arrived at his apartment on White Plains Road in Soundview.
The cops corralled the slithery visitor, which turned out to be a harmless corn snake, bagged it and turned it over to the ASPCA.
The shaken man told cops the reptile wasn’t his pet and probably had made its way into his bathroom through the plumbing.
“Look, anytime you walk into your bathroom and find a big snake staring you in the eye, it’s going to spook you,” said one officer.
“We’ve got enough problems here with bugs and mice. Now there’s snakes coming up through our toilets,” she said. “That’s just scary.”