Tag Archives | Presidential Candidate

Five Crazy Candidates To Consider For U.S. President

By on November 6, 2012 in News 7

Fed up with the two-party system? Via Cracked, five potential presidents who promise to shake up business as usual. Included is sword-welding Prohibition Party candidate Lowell Jackson “Jack” Fellure of Hurricane, West Virginia:

Jack’s been running for president since 1988. Ever the optimist, he knows that one day America will be ready for his sword-wielding, 17th-century-Bible-based form of governance.

Turn-Ons: Capital punishment, King James Bible.

Turn-Offs: “The Liquor Industry,” homos, lollygagging prisoners, people who dare mess with the King James Bible.

Why You Should Consider Jack: “My Presidential Campaign Platform is the Authorized 1611 King James Bible. God Almighty wrote that Book as the supreme constitution and absolute authority in the affairs of all men for all time and eternity. Quality leather bound copies of this Bible have been sent to the Presidential Office, the Supreme Court, the Senate, the House of Representatives, the National Republican Party, the National Democratic Party, and the Federal Election Commission.”

 

… Read the rest

Continue Reading · 7

Don’t Vote for Archie Or Jughead

By on September 3, 2012 in News 6

Picture: Maurice Coyne, Louis Silberkleit, John L. Goldwater (PD)

A recent essay at Spyoptaelip draws comparisons between those two archetypal images of bumbling teenage Americana and our two presidential candidates:

The great non-event of the 2012 presidential election is upon us. The money has been pouring in, the scripts and teleprompters are in place, and the pantomime is about to begin. No candidate would have gotten this far unless permitted to do so by the macro-engineers who manipulate all things; that mysterious force “behind the curtain” that vets and trains and stage-manages its unwitting puppet-clones so as to do its bidding.

Archie and Jughead are comic book characters meant to portray normal American kids. Readers are supposed to be able to relate to them, much as Americans are expected to relate to Obama and Romney. Archie is a lovable, though accident-prone, redheaded 17-year-old and a typical small-town teenager. This might be Obama.

… Read the rest

Continue Reading · 6

Roseanne Barr To Run For President?

By on June 8, 2012 in News 10

Describing herself as “the only serious comedian in this race”, Roseanne is seeking the Green Party nomination for 2012. She already had my vote wrapped up by being Roseanne, but her campaign welcome page lays out her platform, which includes marijuana legalization, ending military support for Israel, forgiveness of all student loan debt, and ballot access in every state. A snippet:

The legalization of marijuana is the way to end all Drug Wars and stop the monopoly of the subsidized prison systems. Our government and corporations are getting paid every time someone goes to prison for non-violent crimes due to marijuana arrests. Drug laws need to be rewritten to make them sane and people based. We need to end the prohibition on marijuana and legalize it.

… Read the rest

Continue Reading · 10

Why Is Nearly Every President Left Handed?

By on March 22, 2012 in News 16

3Did you know that being left-handed is basically a requirement to hold the U.S. presidency? Lefties comprise just 10 percent of the population, yet the only right-handed president over the past three decades was George Dubya Bush. What does it mean? Are the left-dominant a superior race? Is the “evil” hand some sort of Illuminati-approved symbol? Via Wikipedia:

As of 2012, four (five if Reagan is counted) out of the last seven presidents have been left-handed. In the 1992 election, all three major candidates – George H. W. Bush, Bill Clinton and Ross Perot – were left-handed. The 1996 election also involved three left-handed candidates: Clinton, Perot, and Bob Dole, who learned to use his left hand after his right hand was paralyzed by a World War II injury. Additionally, both major-party candidates in the 2008 presidential election – Barack Obama and John McCain – were left-handed.

According to Daniel Geschwind, a professor of human genetics at UCLA: “[The phenomenon] is statistically significant, and probably means something.”

… Read the rest

Continue Reading · 16

Psst: Romney Is A Mormon

By on October 28, 2011 in News 10

Mitt RomneyNow you may think this headline is stating the obvious, but actually less than half of Americans have any idea that he’s a moron Mormon according to the Washington Post:

Less than half of Americans know that GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney is a Mormon, despite recent media attention focused on his faith, a new survey shows.

Just four in 10 Americans — 42 percent — identified the former Massachusetts governor as a Mormon, according to the Washington-based Public Religion Research Institute. That figure remains unchanged from July 2011, despite a flurry of media attention after an evangelical supporter of another GOP candidate, Texas Gov. Rick Perry, called Romney’s religion a “cult.”

The only group that showed an increased knowledge about Romney’s religion was white evangelicals, whose knowledge of Romney’s faith rose from 44 percent in July to 53 percent in mid-October…

[continues in the Washington Post]… Read the rest

Continue Reading · 10

Texas Governor Rick Perry Joins Presidential Race

By on August 14, 2011 in News 26

Texas governor Rick “I-Have-A-Terrific-Haircut” Perry joins the race for the Republican nomination. Another conservative Christian candidate? What’s the difference between him and Michele Bachmann, aside from genitalia and Bachmann’s crazy-eyes? Arlette Saenz reports on ABC News:

After months of speculation and prodding by Republicans, Texas Governor Rick Perry has officially entered the 2012 race. His spokesman, Mark Miner confirmed that Perry is running for president.

Perry will deliver a speech at the RedState.com Gathering in Charleston, S.C. Saturday. The speech was originally billed as an address that would make clear his intentions regarding a run for the presidency, but now it has turned official.

The Texas Governor will swing through three key early states – South Carolina, New Hampshire and Iowa – this weekend. Following his speech in Charleston, he will meet with S.C. Republican officials before heading to a house party in Greenland, New Hampshire where he will meet with Granite State voters.

… Read the rest

Continue Reading · 26

Republican Gary Johnson Running For President In 2012

By on April 22, 2011 in News 4

johnsonprez The Raw Story reports:

Former Gov. Gary Johnson (R-NM) announced Thursday morning that he’s running for president in 2012, adding a fresh libertarian perspective to a field of candidates touting their social conservative credentials.

The ex-governor is perhaps best known in recent years as an outspoken opponent of the drug war who believes marijuana should be legalized. He’s in favor of same sex marriage, saying it would reflect America’s commitment to “freedom” and “liberty.” And he wants to get out of Iraq and Afghanistan.

Johnson, a long-shot at best for the GOP nomination, first made the announcement on Twitter, following it with a series of tweets previewing his campaign platform.

“Ready for smaller government? More liberty and personal freedom,” he tweeted. “Right now, we need to fix the fiscal mess. The writing of a financial collapse is on the wall. Balance the federal budget tomorrow.”

Continue Reading · 4

An Anti-War Challenge to Obama in 2012: The Case for Alan Grayson

By on December 30, 2010 in News 20

Alan GraysonI will admit to total ignorance of Alan Grayson’s merits, but I’d love to hear input from Disinformation’s readers about any viable alternative candidate for the 2012 nomination.  As a starting point, this bit from Mark Pinsky at Politics Daily:

Current Beltway consensus holds that the 2012 race, like 2010, will be a referendum on the economy. But what if, instead, the war in Afghanistan, which Barack Obama has embraced, deteriorates dramatically, requiring a delay in the scheduled troop withdrawal or, worse, forces another escalation? Might Democratic anti-war sentiment — until now a sleeper issue — turn rebellious?

Already, national polls show a plurality (Pew) or a majority (Quinnipiac) opposed to remaining in Afghanistan, with the margins of opposition rising. A Washington Post/ABC News poll conducted Dec. 9-12 found that 60 percent of Americans believe that, “considering the costs to the United States versus the benefits to the United States,” the war in Afghanistan has not been worth fighting.

… Read the rest

Continue Reading · 20

President Obama on Leaving Iraq (Then and Now)

By on August 31, 2010 in News 1

This evening, President Obama will announce the end of the combat mission in Iraq as well as the reduction of the number of troops in Middle East during a primetime news conference at 8:00 p.m. EST. Below is a replay of the speech:

Now here is a fun exercise for those interested in the intersection of power and language. Remember when Candidate Obama was against “dumb wars” in 2002? Below is a 2008 presidential campaign video made with then Presidential Candidate Obama’s own words:

Continue Reading · 1