Tag Archives | Sexuality

How Having a Foursome Opened Up My Relationship

Stuart Richards (CC BY-ND 2.0)

Stuart Richards (CC BY-ND 2.0)

via AlterNet:

My boyfriend and I were happily monogamous. We had been together for nearly a year. And until the day it happened, the idea of having sex with other people was just a thought experiment, something we talked about for fun. It was never something we were actually going to do.

Such is the case for most American adults.  According to a recent study, 56 percent of women and 83 percent of men have a fantasy of having sex with someone other than a current spouse or partner.  It’s so widespread that the researchers deemed it a common fantasy. And for most people, it remains a fantasy — a naughty mental space in which the mind can wander, and stay for a while.  It usually doesn’t turn into reality — but it did for me.

My fantasy of a foursome began after college. Dorm life had been something of a wild midsummer night’s dream — one-night stands were common, almost expected amid the fraternity parties, and as I crept into my 20s, I craved something different, something outside the norm. Simple sex with one guy, even if it was someone new, began to lose its excitement after a while.  My mind wandered toward more elaborate scenarios, ones that included more than one partner.

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Sex Coaching – From Shame to Shamanism

sarah rose brightSarah Rose Bright is a sex coach far beyond the vanilla kind.

“Conventional sex therapy just deals with talking,” she explained in a recent interview with The Eternities podcast. “A lot of people carry a lot of fear, a lot of shame and tension, and all sorts of things that are difficult to address with talking only. For many people, a more practical approach can take them a lot further.”

Sarah talks in the interview of how her own life was transformed via an intensive course of sexual self-development that began with her attendance on a Tantra workshop for her thirtieth birthday. Instantly, she knew she had found her calling.

She now has more than ten years experience as a somatic sex coach and sex educator, with training in sexological bodywork, NLP, Tantra, shamanism, and Taoism, and the tutelage of sexual pioneers such as Dr Patti Britton, Barbara Carrellas and Joseph Kramer.… Read the rest

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Halloween’s Origin Story

Halloween

For this latest spooky October post, I wanted to cut to the chase. I’ve grown a little bit impatient with the month. So, here’s a nice little primer on the Celtic roots of the Halloween holiday and its evolution through the ages to the seemingly silly, scary celebration we know today.

Do the souls of the dead roam free during this time of the year? Are the ghosts friendly? What should I do as someone who lives on a former plantation just off the Trail of Tears in the South?

This video illuminates the evolution of the Roman Catholic Church in its relationship to the frustrating tradition of Samhain in the weird, old magickal world.

The story ultimately comes home to America where our current holiday finds youngsters and adults embracing both the macabre and the sexy. This piece even gets into the arson-crazed Detroit “Devil’s Night” bombings that I grew up with in the Motor City.… Read the rest

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This ‘Bubble Porn’ Video Is Probably Safe For Work (But Not Your Filthy Mind)

Ever heard the saying “less is more”? The “Bubble Porn” video is only as lurid as your preconceptions. It’s like that scene in The Empire Strikes Back where Luke is about to enter that spooky tree and asks what’s inside. Yoda replies, “Only what you take with you.”

Well, I suspect that most of us will be taking a good bit of redtube into this particular tree.

An aside – remember when you were a kid and actually had to hunt for pornography? Kids these days will never know the thrill of uncovering “wood porn“, unless it’s in a discarded thumb drive. (Hint: Leave it the hell alone.)

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Woman Files Suit Over Law Requiring Doctor’s RX To Purchase Sex Toys

Good for her. These laws exist in a lot more places that you might know, but don’t get challenged because people are ashamed to admit in public that they get up to the same kinds of things most Americans do in private. Chill out, morality police. Nothing is forbidden in the House of Love.

SANDY SPRINGS , Ga., May 16 (UPI) –A Georgia woman is suing the city of Sandy Springs over a law that requires a prescription or a legitimate reason to purchase sex toys.
Melissa Davenport filed the lawsuit hoping a judge finding the law unconstitutional.

The ordinance requires people to have a legitimate medical, scientific, educational, legislative, judicial or legal reason to purchase an “obscene” sexual device.

Davenport, who has been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, credits sex toys with saving her marriage.

via Melissa Davenport files suit over sex toy ordinance Sandy Springs – UPI.com.

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Queerfeminism

Pic: Amadhi (PD)

Pic: Amadhi (PD)

I am a male, I am also queer, and throughout my life I have maintained a steady albeit contentious allegiance with  the philosophy of feminism.  Now before we all pull out our fedoras and start a manly chant let me also say that my perspective on the ideology is shaped by my political beliefs as well as my understanding of gender theory, which I will admit, is not incredibly extensive, but I feel as though it is enough to throw in my two cents on the issue.

There is a horrible divide these days within the media wherein pundits enjoy the splendor of being able to toss around political buzzwords without being at all educated about the meaning behind them. A tragic example being the word “socialism”, as shown when a heavily opinionated fox news telecaster scorchingly slanders a progressive scapegoat by verbally assaulting him with the umbrella term “socialist”,  thereby heaping upon the individual all the tenets of every failed regime operating under a red flag from the 1920’s onward.… Read the rest

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How I Became a Queer Heterosexual

Pic: iamiyouareyou (CC)

Pic: iamiyouareyou (CC)

Clyde Smith, writing for the International Conference on Sexuality “Beyond Boundaries” in 1997:

This is the story of how I became a queer heterosexual. It begins in North Carolina where I spent most of my life till I was twenty-nine years old. There I developed a flexible conception of gender and an openness to others’ sexual orientation but held on to binaries of male and female, hetero and homo. The bulk of my story focuses on a three year period spent in San Francisco where I was immersed in a queer milieu. There I learned a great deal about further possibilities for sexual and gendered identity that went beyond rigid binaries. Much of this learning occurred in queer territory and led to my alignment with that identity yet my initial inability to claim such a title. I close with my experiences after leaving San Francisco and my eventual coming out as a queer heterosexual.

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Online Orgasm Classes Taught by a Tantra Practition

Yoni mudra used in Yoga practice.

Yoni mudra used in Yoga practice. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) (PD)

Everything good can come of this.

via Your Tango

I Went To School To Learn How To Orgasm Better

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Could a six-week course help me achieve a bigger O? Only one way to find out.

I’m lying down on the floor, trying to make my hooha “dance”. I’m not sure if she’s really dancing, but she is grinding to Nine Inch Nails’ “Closer”. No, I am not in some new age dance class. I’m in search of a better orgasm.

While I can come without fail, thanks to the help of my favorite hot Pink Rabbit vibrator, sex-induced orgasms are a little trickier to achieve. Maybe it’s because I’ve had a lifetime of Jacuzzi and vibrator-induced orgasms. Maybe it’s because with my vibrator I can choose to use it when I’m in the mood. With my boyfriend, it’s a little different.

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Synthetic Love: Married to a Doll

Davecat lives with his wife and mistress, both dolls, and thinks synthetic partners are ideal for those who don’t want to deal with humans’ inconsistencies. (Atlantic article.)

Davecat met his future wife, Sidore Kuroneko at a goth club in 2000, so the story goes. The less romantic but perhaps more true version is that he saved up for a year and a half to buy her online. She cost about $6,000.

Sidore is a RealDoll, manufactured by Abyss Creations in the shape of a human woman. She is covered in artificial skin made of silicone, so she’s soft. These high-end, anatomically correct—even equipped with fake tongues—love dolls (or capital-D Dolls) are ostensibly made for sex. But 40-year-old Davecat (a nickname acquired from videogames that he now prefers to go by) and others who call themselves iDollators see their dolls as life partners, not sex toys. Davecat and Sidore (or, as he sometimes calls her, Shi-chan) obviously aren’t legally married, but they do have matching wedding bands that say “Synthetik [sic] love lasts forever,” and he says they’re considering some sort of ceremony for their 15th anniversary.

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