Tag Archives | spam

Unraveling the Internet’s oldest and weirdest mystery

Photo via NASA/Wikipedia (PD) | Xpicto/Wikipedia (CC-BY-SA-2.5)

Photo via NASA/Wikipedia (PD) | Xpicto/Wikipedia (CC-BY-SA-2.5)

Via Kevin Morris at The Kernel:

Spam. It’s the Internet’s most resilient parasite. Millions of messages pollute the Web’s pipes every day. Grow a monster penis. Lose 20 pounds. Help out an African prince. You know the drill.

A lot of it is garbled junk, sentences that read like a computer ingested the Oxford English Dictionary and vomited it back out. The results are bizarre and often unintentionally hilarious, a favorite subject of forwarded emails or, in the age of Twitter, cult celebrity. Spam account @Horse_ebooks boasts 192,000 followers, thanks entirely to the seemingly accidental and absurdist poetry of its tweets.

But back in 1996, users of the proto-Web community Usenet got spammed with messages that reached an almost transcendent level of bizarre—a weirdness so precise it implied the influence of a very human intelligence. “Markovian Parallax Denigrate,” read the title of each post, followed by a mountain of seemingly meaningless word spew:

jitterbugging McKinley Abe break Newtonian inferring caw update Cohen
air collaborate rue sportswriting rococo invocate tousle shadflower
Debby Stirling pathogenesis escritoire adventitious novo ITT most
chairperson Dwight Hertzog different pinpoint dunk McKinley pendant
firelight Uranus episodic medicine ditty craggy flogging variac
brotherhood Webb impromptu file countenance inheritance cohesion
refrigerate morphine napkin inland Janeiro nameable yearbook hark

According to later accounts, hundreds of these messages flooded Usenet discussion groups on Aug.

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Vice’s NSA Spam Generator

Wishing the government would pay you some extra attention? Vice’s Motherboard has a handy device for generating tweets, messages, and status updates packed to the brim with NSA-alert-raising keywords, overwhelming surveillance with false positives. They’ve dubbed this terrorism spam generator Hello, NSA:

The government is listening to your internets. Generate a sentence with some of the keywords they’re looking for. Tweet or share and you could earn a new follower in Washington.

NSA spam generator

 

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What?!? Men Really Can Make Their Penises Longer

Anyone who uses email is constantly bombarded with spam emails with subject lines like “Lengthen Your Man Snake,” which one assumes most recipients consider to be nonsense and quickly delete.

spam

However, AFP via France24 reports that in fact penis lengthening actually is possible:

Some non-surgical methods for increasing the length of the male sex organ do in fact work, while others are likely to result only in soreness and disappointment, a review of medical literature has shown.

Surgical procedures, however, can be dangerous and have an “unacceptably high rate of complications,” according to the study, published this week in the Journal of the British Association of Urological Surgeons.

“An increasing number of patients seek urological advice for the so-called ‘short penis’,” the researchers reported.

This is true despite the fact that “penile length is normal in most of these men, who tend to overestimate normal phallic dimension.”

A male member — measured on the dorsal, or upper, side — can be considered normal in length if it is at least four centimetres (1.6 inches) when limp, and 7.5 centimetres (three inches) when rigid, noted several of the studies evaluated…

I’m not sure the AFP reporter studied our infamous penis size map before writing that report though!… Read the rest

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Spammer Ordered To Pay Facebook $711,000,000

Reuters is reporting what sounds like a great victory for everyone who hates those fake Facebook emails, but of course it probably won’t change anything!

Social networking website Facebook was awarded $711.2 million in damages relating to an anti-spam case against Internet marketer Sanford Wallace, court documents show.

Wallace did not oppose the motion or appear at the hearing on September 18, 2009, according to a filing on Thursday in a San Jose, California federal court.

The site filed an anti-spamming case against Wallace in February for accessing people’s Facebook accounts without their permission and sending phony mail and posts to the individuals’ public message wall, the company said in a blog post.

“While we don’t expect to receive the vast majority of the award, we hope that this will act as a continued deterrent,” Facebook said in a blog post.

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