Tag Archives | St. Valentine’s Day

Valentines Day Is A Hoax!

Reliquary of St. ValentineTom Matlack writes for the Good Men Project:

I’ve been reading up on Saint Valentine and the Roman, Catholic and Pagan origins of roses, chocolates and Hallmark cards on February 14th.I’m just not buying it.  Don’t get me wrong I am all for love, romance, doting husbands, and kinky sex. It’s just that I support those activities on a daily basis not just one made up day of the year.

The problem with Valentines Day is that it puts too much pressure on everyone involved.  It’s kind of like New Years Eve without the booze.  For no good reason we are supposed to do something special, have someone special, be happy and in love.

I am in love.  But I’m a miserable SOB most of the time and I resent being told to act otherwise.

I really believe its this capitalist conspiracy by flower peddlers (I asked the biggest one in Boston about my theory but he played dumb with me other than to say its his biggest day of the year by far).

Read the rest

Continue Reading

Traditional Valentine’s Gift? A Severed Head

NA001786The Irish Independent notes that in another time and place, a human head was the most thoughtful of amorous presents:

While most couples celebrate Valentine’s Day with flowers, chocolates and candlelit dinners, archivists have unearthed evidence that a less savoury romantic gesture was practised historically – bestowing a severed head on a loved one.

This left-field approach to love-making, practised by 19th-century Taiwanese aborigines, was discovered in the 150-year-old letters of botanical explorers.

Taking someone’s head after killing them was a ritualistic part of life in the culture until the 1930s and suitors would present severed heads to potential partners to woo them or to brides to celebrate their marriage, according to archive material in the Royal Botanic Gardens at Kew.

The ritual, highlighted as part of the Archive Awareness Campaign, is revealed in a letter to Kew written in 1864 by Kew gardener Richard Oldham, who explains why he cannot explore the Taiwanese mountains near Tamsui.

Read the rest

Continue Reading

Name (And Eat) A Cockroach For Valentine’s Day

First drawing of ArchyVia ScienceDaily:

Valentines Day is upon us and there is no better way to say “forever” than with the gift of a cockroach.

The Wildlife Conservation Society’s Bronx Zoo is offering a light-hearted way to make sure your loved one knows your feelings are forever — with a roach in their name and a 100 percent solid dark chocolate COCOA-ROACH.

Last year thousands of hopeless romantics from around the world named real live Madagascar hissing cockroaches at WCS’s Bronx Zoo after their favorite loved one, “ex,” or mother-in-law. The zoo is again offering the opportunity to name a new crop of cockroaches for Valentine’s Day 2012. Each gift comes with a colorful certificate emailed to your loved one announcing that a cockroach has been named in his or her honor.

To make the offer even sweeter, this year you can also purchase a COCOA-ROACH for that special someone — a genuine artisanal 100 percent solid dark chocolate likeness of a Madagascar hissing cockroach — the world’s largest member of the roach family.

Read the rest

Continue Reading

Celebrating Valentine’s Day With Animal Sacrifice And Whipping Women

Saint Valentine by Bassano

St. Valentine by Bassano.

Yes, you read the headline right: Valentine’s Day was celebrated by the Ancient Romans in a variety of more or less (un)appealing ways, depending on your tastes (and gender, one suspects). Arnie Seipel reports for NPR:

Valentine’s Day is a time to celebrate romance and love and kissy-face fealty. But the origins of this festival of candy and cupids are actually dark, bloody — and a bit muddled.

Though no one has pinpointed the exact origin of the holiday, one good place to start is ancient Rome, where men hit on women by, well, hitting them.

From Feb. 13 to 15, the Romans celebrated the feast of Lupercalia. The men sacrificed a goat and a dog, then whipped women with the hides of the animals they had just slain.

The Roman romantics “were drunk. They were naked,” says Noel Lenski, a historian at the University of Colorado at Boulder.

Read the rest

Continue Reading

Oh Cupcake, Where Art Thou?: The Search for America’s Next Sweetheart

Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan in 2002. Photo: RadioKirk (CC)

The U.S. spiraled into decades of romantic uncertainty and self-loathing after the heartbreak of Mary Pickford losing a leg to gangrene following a vicious tavern brawl in 1929. Where will we find America’s Little Cupcake for the 21st century?

Well, 2011 certainly is shaping up to be quite the year for Wisconsinites.  Douchebag Senator Paul Ryan not only escaped the noose for his role in engineering the AIG bailouts in the mid-terms, but also became the budget committee chief this January.  Newly elected RNC chair and former ethical giant Racid Priebus, a Kenosha native, began in earnest his party’s campaign to contest the health care reform law that he himself claimed was unassailably constitutional. And of course, just this week, America’s Team, the Green Bay Packers took the crown in the fairly eventful Superbowl XLV.

Whew! Pretty heady stuff — but the ride’s not over yet. Valentine’s weekend is almost upon us, and as the United State’s official Capitol of Love is in Milwaukee, Wisconsin is once more at the center stage of world events.… Read the rest

Continue Reading