Tag Archives | Star Wars

Petition the White House to Build a Death Star

According to the Washington Post, the official petition to secure resources and funding for a Death Star has passed the 25,000-signature threshold, which means that according to stated White House policy, it will require an official response.

The petition can be found on the White House’s “We the People: Your Voice in Government” website, and claims “By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense.”

The Obama administration has yet to issue a statement as to whether or not the project will be seriously considered. However, it is widely expected that both economic and reality factors could prove prohibitive. A different administration, such as that of Jar-Jar W. Bush and Darth Cheney, might have viewed the proposal more favorably. A Death Star project would undoubtably garner wide support in a Republican congress, and both Haliburton and Koch Industries are expected to submit construction bids.… Read the rest

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Explaining the US Government to ‘Star Wars’ Fans

Found on Reddit.com.

I was unable to identify who created this clever illustration, but I’d love to know his or her name. I’m particularly amused by the artist’s choice of Salacious Crumb as a stand-in for the mainstream media. I can’t argue with that, or just about any of the depictions here.

Can we expand the analogy? What might Han Solo (frozen in carbonite during this particular scene from Return of the Jedi) represent? How about Luke Skywalker?



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Lasers Before Butter

Picture credit: Teh Intertubes

“Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no substitute for a good blaster at your side” – Han Solo

The military’s Star Wars generation looks set to finally get what they surely always wanted, kick ass lazers!

Wired reports:

“On directed energy” — the term for the Navy’s laser cannons, “I’d say two years,” Rear Adm. Matthew Klunder, the chief of the Office of Naval Research, told Danger Room in a Monday interview. The previous estimate, which came from Klunder’s laser technicians earlier this year, was that it will take four years at the earliest for a laser gun to come aboard.

“We’re well past physics,” Klunder said, echoing a mantra for the Office of Naval Research’s laser specialists. Now, the questions surrounding a weapon once thought to be purely science fiction sound almost pedestrian. “We’re just going through the integration efforts,” Klunder continued. “Hopefully, that tells you we’re well mature, and we’re ready to put these on naval ships.”

Wired full story

With a mounting fiscal deficit in America the political hot potato that is military funding has been thrown around quite a lot recently.… Read the rest

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Most Citizens of the Star Wars Galaxy are Probably Totally Illiterate

Picture: Andres Rueda, Flickr (CC)

Though there are hundreds of Star Wars books and comics, somebody might have a hard time finding anyone in the Galaxy writing or reading one themselves. This would explain why everything is done via droids and holograms, libraries are made up of ‘holocrons’, and why the political reality of the Jedi become mythical legends in a single generation. As Ryan Britt of Tor.com points out, with the exception of the Jedi and some Imperial officers, it doesn’t seem like those denizens Far, Far Away have any interest in the written word. And even those that do don’t seem ready to follow on ‘some damn fool idealistic crusade’ for literacy.

Via Tor.com:

Not once in any Star Wars movie does someone pick up a book or newspaper, magazine, literary journal, or chapbook handmade by an aspiring Jawa poet. If something is read by someone in Star Wars, it’s almost certainly off of a screen (and even then, maybe being translated by a droid), and it’s definitely not for entertainment purposes.

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The Real Life Jedi Hover Bike

Guaranteed market for these things – Star Wars fans, Comic-Con and Dragon*Con types, ... um and me. Deborah Netburn reports for the LA Times:
Forget the flying car. In the future of our dreams, we want to be gliding around Jedi-style on hover bikes like the one currently in development by Aerofex, an aerospace company in Manhattan Beach. Aerofex recently posted new video of its hovercraft gliding inches over a crackly brown desert. The hovering action is provided by two ducted rotors on the underside of the vehicle that spin in opposite directions. A pilot controls the hover bike by leaning to the left and right, in much the same way a rider controls a bicycle...
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LulzSec Speaks: All Your Base Are Belong To Us (Video)

Says FreakOutNation:
With our Global governments stomping out dissent casually, creating distractions such as their acronymic censorship laws, only to put others forth while one is placed in temporary retirement, virtually exhausting the public until they accept authoritarianism, others have stepped up the plate. Ever since Sabu’s arrest, many in opposition to Anonymous and LulzSec thought the game was over — but it’s only reinvigorated them. The following video is done with a Star Wars theme, with the addition of powerful words and visuals:
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R2-D2’s Secret Message For The Jedi (Video)

R2-D2Princess Leia: General Kenobi. Years ago you served my father in the Clone Wars. Now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the Empire. I regret that I am unable to convey my father's request to you in person, but my ship has fallen under attack, and I'm afraid my mission to bring you to Alderaan has failed. I have placed information vital to the survival of the Rebellion into the memory systems of this R2 unit. My father will know how to retrieve it. You must see this droid safely delivered to him on Alderaan. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope. [pause] Obi-Wan: [to Luke] You must learn the ways of the Force, if you're to come with me to Alderaan...
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The Saga of Newt “Skywalker” Gingrich

Gingrich ChokedI’m still waiting for Republican primary voters to get wind of all of Newt’s “big government” sci-fi ideas. Here’s a good history of them from Sharon Weinberger in Foreign Policy:

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, the surging candidate for the Republican presidential nomination, has been simultaneously lauded for his devotion to technological innovation, and ridiculed for his warnings about futuristic weapons.

Gingrich, who has dabbled in science fiction and cited both futurist Alvin Toffler and the concept of “psychohistory” in Isaac Asimov’s Foundation novels as intellectual inspirations, has long been dubbed “Newt Skywalker” thanks to his vision of future warfare that blends fact and fantasy. This streak of futurism is, by his own admission, rooted in a political and philosophical belief about technology and power. ”I would rather rely on engineers than diplomats for security,” Gingrich told Aviation Week & Space Technology magazine in 1994, in reference to his support for missile defense.

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Darth Vader Claims Land In Ukraine

Daft news story of the day, courtesy of Reuters:
Welcoming the local authorities' move to the dark side, Darth Vader has asked for a land plot in the Ukrainian Black Sea port of Odessa to park his space ship. An Odessite dressed as the Star Wars villain visited the mayor's office this week to claim a free land plot citing Ukrainian legislation which grants every citizen the right to own 1,000 square meters of land. His visit followed a decision by city authorities to grant attractive land plots along the sea coast to a group of people for free, prompting public concerns about corruption, according to local media...
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