Tiger Woods

Nike Says Tiger Is SorryWow, those internets really move fast. Nike debuted Tiger Woods’ ad this morning, and only hours later, people already uploaded plenty of remixed goodness. The original Woods ad has already creeped out plenty of folks: it has a silent Woods gazing at the camera while the voice of his late father Earl gives him a lecture from beyond the grave.

My favorite of the remixed ads so far is this one with the final parole board speech from Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redemption:

So for thirteen minutes on Friday, the world’s biggest casino came to a crawl while Tiger Woods made his “apology” speech. (One can argue that the apology was more for Nike’s benefit than his wife’s.) As financial blog Zerohedge puts it:

When Tiger’s speech causes a more dramatic volume impact than the FOMC you know this market is all sorts of perfectly efficient. Bloomberg’s chart of the day below shows the total NYSE volume change in-between when Tiger started his convoluted and meandering mea culpa, and when he ended.


FOMC stands for Federal Open Market Committee, a.k.a. “The Fed” that many disinfo.com visitors have plenty to say about. So Tiger had more impact than a Fed Discount Rate hike announcement that day, good to know for the next time I talk to some finance guy who cold calls me about getting into the market…

Seems like just more proof that, as the Onion recently put it (brilliantly), money is a “symbolic, mutually shared illusion.”

TigerWoodsI find this kinda amazing, I guess the media obsession has a bright light. Michael David Smith writes on Fanhouse:

Tiger Woods isn’t just America’s greatest golfer, and he isn’t just America’s greatest philanderer. He’s also America’s greatest vocabulary teacher.

Woods hasn’t yet spoken publicly in the two weeks since his mysterious car accident led to a media feeding frenzy about his sex life. But he has issued a couple of public statements on TigerWoods.com, and in those statements he showed a grasp of the English language that was apparently too difficult for some.


The transgressions of Tiger Woods have proved too much to take for one of the golf superstar’s most fanatical fans, who is now disbanding a church set up in praise of the sports icon.

John Ziegler, the pastor of the First Church of Tiger Woods (www.tigerwoodsisgod.com), has announced in a statement on the blog that the organisation is being dissolved because of the golfer’s “personal sins”.

The church, whose home page has now been renamed “The Damnation of Tiger Woods” was launched by radio host Ziegler in 1996 to “celebrate the emergence of the true messiah.”

So what I was joking about in my previous post about these Tiger Woods CGI re-enactment videos may actually take hold for our news to come. Now wondering just how long it will take video-game style reporting to make its way out of the tabloid sphere into the “serious” newsroom.

This media innovation is brought to you by a Taiwanese news organization, Apple Daily. Here is their latest Tiger Woods-related video (and not-so-good English translation):

The world’s no.1 golfer Tiger Woods’ last Friday’s car accident has major development. After 24 year-old cocktail waitress Jaimee Grubbs told a US magazine about their sexual relationship, Woods release a statement within 24 hours, saying he has “regret these transgressions” and “have not been true to the behavior his family deserves.” Although not directly addressing it, their affiar possible discovery by his wife is apparent.

Yes, I know this is tabloid news, but what if if the American Nightly News networks and their anchors (I’m looking at you Brian Williams, Katie Couric, and whoever is on ABC right now) employed the video game graphics, they might still have an audience…?)

We all read our news on the Internet now, I realize: