Tag Archives | WTF

The Mystery of the Kentucky Meat Shower

No, not the third installment of the Magic Mike Trilogy, but something weirder and more wondrous than Channing Tatum’s butt gyrations.

meat

Shower Meat- it’s what’s for dinner. If you’re starving. Or Kentuckian.

Let’s cut the chatter and get right to the- uh- meat of the matter:

According to Today I Found Out,

On March 3, 1876, one Mrs. Crouch was working in her yard in Bath County, Kentucky, making soap, when suddenly “meat which looked like beef began to fall all around her. The sky was perfectly clear at the time.” Falling like large snowflakes and settling all around the 5000 square foot yard, pieces of flesh ranging in size from about two inches square to four, dotted the ground and were even stuck on the fences. When it first appeared, the meat was said to be fresh, and, accordingly, two unidentified (but brave) men even sampled it.

Read the rest
Continue Reading

All Roads Lead to Zen…

pots

At end of shift yesterday, while I was cashing-out my day over at the bullet-proof glass at Citizen’s Cab, a night driver named Harry – relaxing in a musty old car seat up on the rustic porch/driver’s lounge, was waiting for his cab to come in. From the porch, Harry all unsolicited bellows over to me,

“Hay! Sack! Ya kno wha tha secrit ta makin’ monee is now?”

I bite, “No, Harry. What’s the secret?”

“Ya gotta tink pos-Y-tive!”

Ah, a bit of old school San Francisco…

Well, I have been practicing watching my breath of late, on account of Maya – my upaguru Zen meditation teacher ride from recent blog fame. But instead of really meditating as I lie there in bed, watching my breath winds up super relaxing me and I just end up falling asleep real fast. But, that’s ok. Consequently, I’ve come to stop abusing night-time cough syrup to get down at night, again.… Read the rest

Continue Reading

Exploding Bugs: Christian Man Tries to Disprove Evolution

Dr. Martin continued to believe in evolution after converting to Christianity — that is until he started doing some research of his own. He came to the conclusion that certain creatures, such as the bombardier beetle, simply defy evolutionary theory.

Here’s how the host explains it, “His first study was of a beetle that really should’ve exploded and shouldn’t even exist.”

How’s that for solid logic?

 

h/t Christian Nightmares. Follow them on Twitter.

Read the rest

Continue Reading

Wyoming Man Found With 30 Eyeballs Stuffed Up His Anus

Roy Tilbott

Roy Tilbott

We’ve had several requests to post this story from Crazed.com. If true, it’s definitely one of the stranger stories we’ve heard for a while. Who stuffs eyeballs up their anus, anyway?

CASPER, Wyo. – Police made a routine traffic stop early Thursday morning and got more than they bargained for when Roy Tilbott, 51, stepped out of his El Camino for a field sobriety test and Casper police noticed several eyeballs slide from his right pant leg onto the road.

Feeling they could have a potential murderer on their hands, police quickly drew guns and cuffed Tilbott.

Tilbott assured police the eyeballs were not human, but instead cow eyeballs he had pilfered from Johnson Meats (a slaughterhouse) where Tilbott is employed as a butcher.

cow-eyeball

Bovine eyeball from Tilbott’s rectum. A total of 30 were found. Image Source: Casper Police Department

“Company won’t let us take animal scraps home and instead toss them in the landfill,” Tilbott said in the police report.

Read the rest
Continue Reading

Take Me To Your… Gold… Bridge!

Random Thought: There are two kinds of people in this world; The kind that go, and the kind that don’t go. If you go; ok. If you don’t… I will.

gold bridge copy

Friday

4:54am:
I’m meandering half-awake through the Citizen’s Cab lot.

As I head towards the bullet-proof glass to retrieve 137’s key and medallion – and maybe throw Kojak a $5 bribe for an airport, I take note of a newish Escape – 203, sporting a newly smashed-up front end. Poor night driver. Wonder what the story is on that.

And I do not see 137. Damn.

This is not good.

I address Kojak at the window, “What happened to 203?”

Kojak, “It was wrecked last night.”

Sack, “I don’t see 137 in the lot…”

Kojak, “It’s shopped. Got wrecked yesterday.”

Huh?? That’s my regular Prius!

So, ‘ol Koj throws me 2402, a Prius spare. It’s a spare I’ve driven before, one that smells like meth, B.O.

Read the rest
Continue Reading

Google DeepDream’s Nightmare Psychedelia

The internet is abuzz with wonder and perverse glee because the Mad Scientists responsible for Google Image’s AI have released the hounds a set of tools that let the average Joe and Jane see how Google Images “sees” the world (just don’t ask it about Gorillas. Trust me).

It’s a darkly trippy thing indeed: one part Naked Lunch, a dash of Cthulhu Mythos, a hint of Hieronymus Bosch and a sprig of HR Giger for flavor. And dogs. Lots and lots of dogs.

Puts the "monster" in Flying Spaghetti Monster

Puts the “monster” in Flying Spaghetti Monster

It’s called DeepDream and reddit gives us the skinny:

Deep Learning is a new field within Machine Learning. In the past 4 years researchers have been training neural networks with a very large number of layers. Algorithms are learning how to classify images to a much greater accuracy than before: you can give them an image of a cat or a dog and they will be able to tell the difference.

Read the rest
Continue Reading

Zen Nails & Waxing

zen

Devoted Passengers,

Your driver would like to take a “detour” this week, if you will… Many a fare has asked, so please indulge as I explain the “non” part of “non-practicing Buddhist” from my author’s tag line…

Noon:
I’m rolling the streets of ‘ol San Francisco in Citizen’s Cab #137 on yet another absolutely beautiful, clear, drought-ridden day. I’m rounding the left north onto Fillmore in the Lower Haight, fareless, when I spot an older woman up the block vehemently trying the capture the attention of an empty Yellow coming down the hill. She’s waving her arms all frantically at him on the sidewalk from the wrong side of a hedge of parked cars. His top light is lit, indicating that he is ‘Available’. But, Yellow does not see.

Well, “one man gathers what another man spills”.

I zoom up the block tapping my horn to gain the lady’s attention.

Read the rest
Continue Reading

TAXI Driver: San Francisco (Time-Lapse VIDEO)

My cabbie day time-lapsed. 10 hours in 10 minutes, complete w/ original music (by moi) and narration…

Monday

The infamous Milford is working the office and throws me 744, a Camry he boasts as “new” with a 5 o’ clock medallion. I throw him a five and Milford looks disappointed and expectant. I just ignore it. Why am I gonna tip him more for this?

I head out to the lot, prep the cab, and report some bumper marks over the radio to cover my ass – then proceed to leave the lot. But before I can, The Dutchman (a mellow, eccentric, 64 year-old driver who takes pride in looking 50 and lives 2 hours away in the Santa Cruz mountains where he has local girls trained as his personal prostitutes) has me roll down my window and asks where I’m going. I ask him where he’s going, if he needs a ride.… Read the rest

Continue Reading

Who (or what) is ‘The Watcher’ terrorizing a NJ family?

The Inquisitr brings us a very creepy tale of someone (or is it some thing?) terrorizing a New Jersey family.

The Watcher might not have the charm, style, and wit of the Zodiac Killer but he/she/it (NOT transphobic. Monsterphobic, maybe) certainly doesn’t suffer from a lack of moxie and they are clearly bourgeoisie as Hell so no loss there.

Did I write that or just think it?

Read on, True Believers:

A New Jersey family terrorized by “The Watcher” have been forced out of their dream home. The stalker appears to have a “chip on his shoulder” about money, according to criminal profilers. The unknown and mysterious individual has sent eerie letters to the Westfield area family.

Derek and Maria Broaddus received the first of the letters from The Watcher only three days after signing the deal to purchase the $1.3 million New Jersey home. The letters referenced the three children in the family as being “young blood.” The Westfield family was so terrified they never even moved into their luxurious dream home.
Read the rest
Continue Reading

AssaUlt!

Uber Police

Monday

Too damn early…

I’m in the Citizen’s Cab lot and run into Crooks, of last week’s fame – cab driver turned “rideshare” after losing his taxi permit for Paratransit fraud who last Saturday night totaled his sub-prime loan Uber Camry in a very public T-bone collision with a pink mustachioed Lyft “rideshare”.

(Gulp!) I really hope he did not read last week’s blog!

Sack, “Crooks! Waz up, mane! Hey! I heard about that Lyft, um, running the red and you T-boning it. Dude was taken to General in an ambulance, eh? And you went on your own? You ok?”

Crooks, “Ye-ah, I ok. My wife lettin’ me use ‘er Hyundai ’til it all git figur’d owt. Jus’ ‘ere washin’ ‘er cahr.”

I see behind Crooks stands a silver Hyundai SUV all beaded with water, with a suction-cupped phone and “U” signage visible in the windshield, over by the Citizen’s Cab hose and vacuum station… and right next to the new-ish sign acknowledging California’s drought (and increased commercial water bill) that states:

“NO WASHING PERSONAL VEHICLES.… Read the rest

Continue Reading